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Rich donor upset, confused about what to do with $60,000 earmarked for NRA

Humor by

In the wake of last week’s National Rifle Association bankruptcy declaration, we went to Palm Beach to converse with Andrew Stones, 56, about his new predicament, which he finds himself in due to the abrupt bankruptcy of the NRA.

“It’s just a really difficult situation,” Stones said. “2020 has been a hard year for everyone, and to be put in this position by this all-encompassing global pandemic really grinds my gears.”

It seems that Stones will have to reorganize his finances to compensate for the change of plans, perhaps finding another charitable cause.

“No one is more aware than me that there’s so much hurt around us, and I wish there was something I could do to make it better,” Stones said. “It really makes you feel powerless.”

Stones plans on delegating this pressing task to his accountant, Amanda Hynes, whom we also spoke to briefly.

“Somehow, I think he’ll be okay,” Hynes said.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

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Uche Ochuba '24 is the desk editor for humor and a contributing writer in the sports section. Contact him at humor 'at'