I spent part of my Valentine’s Day weekend fighting with my girlfriend over what type of dessert we should buy at Safeway. The other half was spent wondering why the hell LeBron James took 22 shots in the NBA All-Star Game.
This year, the annual streetball spectacle took place in front of over 100,000 fans at the new Cowboys Stadium. I didn’t watch the whole game — I got my fill in the first quarter and didn’t feel like sticking around to see 280 combined points — but from what I did observe, no one gave LeBron the memo that this game wasn’t serious. In fact, he put the Mike Brown Offense on the map.
My friends and I always joke about the Mike Brown Offense (MBO). Brown, the head coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers and perhaps the luckiest person on the planet, has won a Coach of the Year award for leading the Cavs to a 66-win season and a No. 1 overall seed in the 2009 playoffs. Yet he appears to understand basketball as much as I understand the plot of Lost.
The MBO consists of the following: handing the ball to LeBron, letting him jab-step 20 seconds off the shot clock and requesting that he takes a contested 22-foot jump-shot preceded by an unnecessary spin move. James used this strategy time and time again in the All-Star Game, and shockingly, it failed, time and time again.
Until this week, I would just marvel at how unbelievably wasteful and inefficient this strategy is. When LeBron goes to the rim, he’s virtually unstoppable. Yet he continues to rely on the MBO on a game-to-game basis. This system is what prevents his field goal percentage from reaching an astronomical number for a wing player — it’s what gives him the reputation of an overly flashy player and it’s what has prevented him from winning an NBA title.
Still, James is the most freakishly gifted professional athlete of all time and has taken one of the most incompetent franchises and turned it into a mirage of a dynasty. We have all been dubbed “witnesses” of his dominance, and he has become so famous that Michael Jordan now feels obligated to buy the Charlotte Bobcats in order to remain a blip on the basketball radar.
It was during the All-Star Game that, for the first time, I became conflicted over my opinions of LeBron. On one hand, I have a very difficult time rewarding a player dedicated to shooting contested jump shots as a first priority with my support. A guy built like a Hummer should live and die in the lane. There are literally two centers — Dwight Howard and Shaq — that could possibly stop him at the rim and one of them resides on his own team. His antics on the court, his dancing on the sideline and his vocal disapproval whenever he is whistled for fouls doesn’t sit too well with me either.
On the other hand, he’s just really, really freaking good. Despite the MBO, LeBron is averaging 29.9 points on 50.6 percent shooting, 7.1 rebounds and 8.3 assists per game. He is the best point guard, shooting guard and small forward in the league. Until LeBron, the likelihood of any player repeating Oscar Robertson’s historic season of averaging a triple double was deemed impossible. His ability to find open teammates is remarkable, and his tendency to garner players like Anderson Varejao contract extensions is unbelievable.
Right now, and I’ve been just as guilty as anyone, it’s extremely trendy to make the case that Kobe Bryant is a better player. The most common statements/comments are: “Kobe plays real basketball,” “LeBron can’t shoot,” “Where are LeBron’s rings?” and “When was the last time ‘The King’ had 81 points?”.
I can’t answer the first two, because I have no idea what is meant by “real basketball” and I’d gladly give up fast food, FIFA ‘10 and my dignity to make half of my shots in the NBA. LeBron’s rings? Pair him with Shaq or Pau Gasol in their primes and come talk to me after the subsequent 75-win seasons. 81 points? Kobe only had two assists. LeBron is perfectly capable of rampaging a defenseless Raptors team if he chooses not to pass the ball.
I feel guilty supporting the guy, but I can no longer come up with enough counterarguments. He is the best player that I’ve ever seen and he’s probably the best player that I will ever see. It’s disturbing to think that he is only 25 years old, and will continue to get better. The very last thing he needs is an ego boost, but this is less of an admittance of a man-crush and more of a surrender on my behalf.
So take your 22 All-Star shots, LeBron. Just stop jab-stepping. Please.
Zach Zimmerman finds it much harder to give up FIFA ‘10 than his dignity. Lose your dignity to him by challenging him to FIFA at zachz “at” stanford.edu.