In an election race that’s commonly plagued by empty promises, “feel-good” phrases like “let’s sit down with administrators and work this out” and platitude- and rhyme-driven posters, the ASSU executive slate “Two Dope Boys in a Caddylack” — that is, Billy Kemper ’11 and Josh Meisel ‘12 — strives to remind voters to honor what they call the real motives behind the ASSU election.
“Vote Kemper-Meisel…because the other candidates are hell of lame,” Kemper said in an interview with The Daily.
The slate, which proudly claims the only Stanford Chaparral endorsement, was very specific about their campaign promises, which include “boxers and briefs” and “more Red Bull, more often.” While other campaigns put forth great effort to address weaknesses in mental health resources and student government reform, the two “Dope Boys” aren’t wasting voters’ time by beating around the bush.
“We’re really in it for the money and the power,” Kemper explained. “That’s our first concern. And the girls.”
The two said that along with the elusive Chaparral endorsement, they also have garnered endorsements from the Jewish Coalition, Red Bull, the New York Mets, the United States Postal Service, Stanford Athletics, the “principal of Stanford,” Mrs. Johnson from fourth period, Nike and Fraiche.
Kemper and Meisel share a close relationship that they believe makes them highly qualified to lead the student body as a pair.
“We’re very close,” Meisel said. “Over spring break, Billy’s mom came and stayed with me.”
“Two Dope Boys in a Caddylack” has constructed a vision for the future of Stanford, including an ideal setting where the campus would have more “golf-cart kinda things that are environmentally safe instead of using bikes that mark up the arcades.”
Kemper and Meisel did not shy away from pointing out their unique qualifications for ASSU executive. Kemper, the presidential candidate, said he is majoring in ergonomics. Meisel, on the other hand, is reportedly majoring in creative reading and can lick his shoulder.
The two candidates say they look forward to the competition offered by five other executive slates, but not as much as they look forward to bettering themselves through the election process.
“Our main competition at this point is probably ourselves at this point,” Meisel said. “We’re probably the only thing keeping ourselves from winning at this point.”