As someone with little-to-no life in many ways and, therefore, far too much time to spend on Sporcle, I can (all too easily) relate to Zach’s quiz column. I might have even had a part in coming up with some choices. In any case, trivia is a very big part of my life (195 flags of the world in under eight minutes — beat that).

In the quiz spirit, I decided to include one of my own. I am an active participant in “The College Game,” but that’s been covered. I also think there will be little interest in a sports column about the periodic table, seven-letter country names or words that begin and end with “g,” so I’ll spare you some of my other Sporcling hobbies.

Now, there are fairly limitless possibilities for sports quizzes. I could go with questions like “Who has won the most Directors’ Cups?” or “Where did John Elway, Ryan Garko, Tiger Woods, Mike Mussina and John McEnroe go to school?” I could ask who has won the most women’s tennis titles or the most women’s titles in all sports. I could ask who is going to win this year’s Directors’ Cup or the all-time award for best tennis tackle. But wouldn’t it just get a little repetitive when every answer is Stanford?

Instead, let’s go for something even more trivial than titles and wins, and even more trivial than the names of colleges. Yep, you guessed it. Here’s a mascot quiz:

Hey, I know mascots!

1. University of Arizona

2. Kansas State University

3. University of Kentucky

Creativity is our policy

4. Texas A&M University

5. Utah State University

6. New Mexico State University

7. University of California-Davis

Oh my! This isn’t as hard as it looks…

8. Loyola Marymount University

9. Princeton University

10.  Missouri State University

What IS that?

11.  Georgetown University

12.  Ohio State University

13.  Virginia Tech University

14.  Indiana University

Let’s make this a little more colorful

15.  University of Tulsa

16.  University of North Texas

17.  Tulane University

18.  DePaul University

19.  University of Delaware

Harder, but not yet ridiculous

20.  University of Massachusetts

21.  University of Pennsylvania

22.  University of Alabama-Birmingham

23.  Western Kentucky University

Getting there

24.  Massachusetts Institute of Technology

25.  Southern Illinois University

26.  Indiana State University

27.  University of Louisiana-Lafayette

Some of my go-to moves

28.  Central Michigan University

29.  University of Tennessee-Chattanooga

30.  Austin Peay State University

31.  University of Evansville

Don’t you have more important things to know?

32.  University of Wisconsin-Green Bay

33.  Sam Houston State University

34.  California State University-Bakersfield

35.  Northern Arizona University

That should keep you busy/frustrated/questioning my sanity. For a scoring guide, feel free to use the same one as Zach’s column. And if you manage to get more than 30, let’s just say I’m sorry. You’re in the rare company of people who fill their mind with as many useless sports facts as I do.

For everyone else, take notes. Someday Stanford will have a mascot name as awesome (or terrible) as some of these.

Jacob Jaffe has announced his tree candidacy for next year. Support his sapling run and suggest possible names at jwjaffe “at” stanford.edu.