It used to be that when the issue of marijuana legalization came up, supporters had to pretend that what really mattered to them was medicinal marijuana—that, even though nobody ever really cared much about the old people with glaucoma, undergoing chemotherapy or facing whatever other unspeakable pain marijuana could ease. Honestly, who doesn’t support letting some sick person smoking a whole bunch of weed if they want? They’re old and sick. Let them have it.

Indeed, a majority of California voters succumbed to the powerful old-and-sick lobby and in November 1996 and passed Proposition 215, which legalized medicinal marijuana and more or less left us where we are today.

Few people actually understand or care about the medicinal benefits of giving weed to people. In general, it is good for easing pain and stimulating appetite. The fact of the matter is that some people like smoking a whole bunch of weed in their basement and playing Mario Kart while eating some Funyuns, and some people find that detestable and dangerous. Shocking to hear, I know, but it’s true.

And it’s that Mario Kart, Funyun-loving taste for freedom that brings us to California Proposition 19, also known as the Regulate, Control and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010. On Nov. 2, 2010, California voters will decide whether or not they want to make it legal to possess up to an ounce of marijuana for personal consumption.

Because of the one-ounce limitation, passage of Prop 19 would not mean that the next time you go to Safeway there would be a wide variety of blunts to choose from, nor would it mean you could light up a joint wherever you please.

So the net result will basically be, um, not a whole lot. Marijuana was decriminalized in the legislature a few days ago. Prop. 25, which would make it so that only a simple majority is required to pass a budget, is inarguably more important, but Lord knows you would not still be reading if this were about the procedural workings of the California legislature. The question of how California will vote on a referendum on the morality of smoking weed? More interesting.

So let’s join the conversation about weed. On one side, we have our media establishment, which has all but universally opposed Prop. 19 and generally been willing to throw in a few demeaning jokes about marijuana users to boot. Here’s the Pasadena Star-News’ apocalyptic vision of a post-Prop. 19 world: “The guy in the cubicle next to you at work is stoned. There’s an increased likelihood the driver of the car in the next lane on the freeway is under the influence of pot. Commercial entities openly selling pot in storefronts near where you shop, or perhaps in your child or grandchild’s college dormitory.” Dun dun dun! Chaos will reign! The streets will run red with blood! Someone might actually find being in a cubicle to be tolerable!

Obviously, none of this should be allowed to (puff, puff) pass. I mean, they’re lazy, have a short attention span, eat too much and are entranced by television for hours on end. Isn’t that crazy? Nobody else in America is like that at all.

But for all the evasions and doomsday scenarios on the other side, it’s not as if the pro-legalization forces are trying to win this debate straight up either. I mean, The Regulate, Control and Tax Cannabis Act? Really? A more direct name like The Smoke, Bake and Smoke Cannabis Act would get us a better sense of how much support there really is for legalization.

Instead of pretending to make dying and sick people happy, this time they pretend reason is that Prop. 19 might raise a little money to pay the forthcoming debts from projects such as our increasingly popular prisons and the California SuperTrain. Remember voting on that two years ago? No? It’s like a big fancy train, and it’s not going to be free.

Prop. 19 represents a chance to take some of the disposable income of those allegedly irresponsible marijuana users to try to pay our debts, so that even if we cannot make ends meet, we’ll go down in a blaze of glory, so to speak.

Want to spark up a conversation about bad weed-related puns? E-mail Jordan at [email protected].