The Bender Room couches are high-ticket real estate, coffee machines are churning overtime and the campus is starting to resemble “Shaun of the Dead.” That’s right, folks, it’s midterm season. The season runs roughly until finals, so you have plenty of time to not study with these diversions.

(1) Facebook

Alphabetizing your interests always takes precedence the night before that Chem 31X midterm. So does Photoshopping your new profile picture, poking all and sundry or stalking ex-acquaintance’s photo albums. Just a few more minutes…

(2) Trashy TV

For those bouts between intense concentration, the “Jersey Shore” crew and the Kardashian family are the greatest company (read: train wrecks). With Hulu and SurfTheChannel, putting off that practice exam for “one more episode” is simpler than ever.

(3) Latenite

Stress eating is why god invented Cardinal dollars: so you could (1) take seven times as long on the “walking break” to Lag and (2) make headway on the “freshman 15.” Nothing says success and possible hallucinatory dreams like downing chicken tenders, waffle fries and a milkshake. Preferably in the Wellness Room.

(4) Naps

Maybe it’s too hot inside to study, maybe you stayed up late for a p-set the night before. Or maybe you’re just lazy, but sleeping during the day is at least a healthier way to put off studying. And if you believe osmosis is possible, you can always sleep with the textbook under your pillow.

(5) The gym

Stanford students do love to overachieve, even during procrastination hours.