A week of thrilling and absurd stunts came to a close early Thursday morning when Mike Samuels ‘11 was crowned the new Stanford Tree. Samuels will succeed Ben “Bollox” Cortes ‘11 as the official band mascot, whose duties include fostering school spirit, dancing erratically and possibly fighting rival mascots at major sporting events.
Following the announcement, The Daily sat down with Samuels at the CoHo for a brief interview. With several bandaged battle wounds, he looked understandably harried from the last week, but seemed content and grateful to have been selected as Tree.
The Stanford Daily (TSD): You expressed that you’re comfortable looking like an idiot, as the position of Tree entails. What’s the most idiotic thing about you?
Mike Samuels (MS): I don’t make a lot of great decisions. I let people taze me and hit golf balls at me.
TSD: What do you think distinguished you from the other saplings?
MS: I must have wanted it more. I put a lot of time into my stunts and I did them with more energy. As some members of the band told me, it wasn’t a competition between people, but rather a week to see the Tree emerge among the people. I guess I emerged as the true Tree.
TSD: What does the Tree position represent to you?
MS: It represents the spirit of Stanford, a way of life, a way of getting all the craziness and quirkiness into one singular being. I’m happy to do my best to make that happen.
TSD: This year’s Tree was lauded by some for its innovation and criticized by others for looking like a broccoli stalk. What kind of tree will you be? How will you construct the costume?
MS: I’m in between two main ideas. I’m from L.A., so I might go with a palm tree, but that doesn’t always look great when you’re spinning around. A tree with more leaves looks better. So I might go for a more classic redwood, with little adjustments here and there.
TSD: So you’re going to go for traditional evergreen over deciduous?
MS: Probably. And I have no idea how I’m going to make it.
TSD: How would you describe your tree dancing technique?
MS: A process in the works. I’m going to have to find a happy medium between going balls-to-the wall and conserving energy. Bollox does a lot of gesticulating with his hands, so I’ll do something like that when I get really tired.
TSD: Describe your stunts. Which one was the most insane? Which one was your favorite to do?
MS: My favorite was probably the “Trojan Trojan.” I made a six-foot penis that I could fit inside. I then rolled it out to the Quad, where there was the Oregon Duck and Cal’s Oski the Bear. Just like the traditional story, the others thought [the Trojan penis] was a prize, but then I popped out and vanquished them all.
For another fun stunt, I put a bunch of inflatable pool animals and five sex dolls in Lake Lagunita. I had to rescue the dolls while the other band members shot at me with airsoft guns. It was really cold and I almost got pneumonia.
TSD: It seems to me that the Tree is often intoxicated during sports events. Will you get drunk before games?
MS: I’m not going to get plastered.
TSD: You’ve also described yourself as awesome. Are you as awesome and idiotic as Charlie Sheen?
MS: I try to be. I think I am.
TSD: How do you feel about deforestation?
MS: It’s a huge problem. Maybe if the other trees out there were as awesome as I am, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem.