Bruno Mars isn’t shy. If the man has something to say, he’ll tell you, your sister and anyone else who cares to listen to him sing over the same three chords. There are some days where he doesn’t feel like doing anything, but more often than not he lives a life full of romantic promises and endless excitement. In a life so complex, Intermission attempts to condense an average day for Bruno into five activities.

“Do P90X”
In order to have some really nice sex and make the ladies scream out “this is great,” Bruno has to get his swell on. What better way than turning his living room into a body-sculpting wonderland?

“Throw his hand on a blade”
Although graphic (and probably intended as a hyperbolic statement meant to seduce women), we assume that Bruno, like the rest of us, has his fair share of shaving accidents.

“Chill in his Snuggie”
Bruno was raised in Honolulu and now resides in LA, so we’re not exactly sure why he would need to stay warm. But who are we to judge? Snuggies are the clothes of the angels.

“Catch a grenade”
No, not a real grenade. That would hurt like a bitch. Bruno is just an avid paintballer who uses state-of-the-art tools for wiping out multiple enemies at once.

“Strut in his birthday suit”
Normally Intermission advises against nudity (not really). But as tomorrow is his 26th birthday, we’ll give him a free pass. Happy Birthday, Bruno!