By the time you read this column, game one of the World Series will already be in the books, but chances are you didn’t watch it anyway.

In this non-coastal Fall Classic, plenty of fans are going to tune out due to the fact that the Yankees, Phillies and Red Sox are sitting at home drinking beer and eating fried chicken right now. And while those teams carry some of the biggest fan bases with them, they also inspire a lot of people to watch games strictly to root against them.

Neither the Rangers nor the Cardinals inspire the same kind of hate reserved for those big-money teams, so who should you, the fan with no rooting interest, cheer for in this World Series reserved for teams from states that border my home state of Arkansas? I’ve provided a few reasons for each team just ahead.

Reasons to root for the Cardinals:

1. Albert Pujols: He is the best player in baseball, and he puts on a prom for kids with Down Syndrome every year. There’s no reason not to like this future first-ballot Hall of Famer unless you’re one of the teams that he’s dominated over the years.

2. America: The Cardinals’ centerfielder is named Jon Jay, and if you know your American history, you’ll recall that John Jay was a signer of the Declaration of Independence and the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. Is this a tenuous reason to root for a team? Yes. But I’m willing to bet that it’s the reason why history professor Jack Rakove, a Cubs fan, will be rooting for the Cardinals.

3. Jonah Keri: This writer for ESPN spinoff website Grantland has a little crush on the Rangers; as in, he will not stop writing about the Rangers. Why is this a reason not to root for Texas? Because if Texas wins, Keri will probably want to write another book like his sloppy, boring tome on the rise of the Tampa Bay Rays, “The Extra Two Percent: How Wall Street Strategies Took a Major League Baseball Team from Worst to First.” If you’re a fan of well-written books, you should probably root for the Cards.

4. Cardinal: Because if you have to pick a reason, “OMG we are the same color almost” is probably as good as any other.

Reasons to root for the Rangers:

1. Partying: Ron Washington and Josh Hamilton have both dabbled with some special substances in the past, and anyone who likes to throw down a little bit should definitely feel a connection to the kindred spirits wearing red, white and blue.

2. Diversity: The Rangers have players from Japan, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Venezuela and Mississippi. Hooray for tolerance!

3. Tony La Russa: Don’t like PETA? La Russa was nominated for PETA’s “Sexiest Vegetarian” in 2007. Don’t like drunk driving? La Russa was arrested for DUI back in 2007 (apparently that was a bad year for him). Against Arizona’s SB 1070 bill? Tony expressed support for the bill back in 2010. Don’t like communicable disease? La Russa contracted shingles in 2011. Do yourself a favor and do not Google image search “Tony La Russa shingles.” He’s also a whiner. All compelling reasons to root for the Rangers, right?

4. The Underdog factor: The Cardinals have won ten World Series already. That’s the second-most in baseball history behind the Yankees. They’re an established franchise. They have real, time-honored rivalries. So far, the Rangers are mostly famous for dumping tons of money into ‘roided out dudes like Alex Rodriguez, Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmiero and Sammy Sosa. They’ve come from being one of the bottom-dweller of the American League to a back-to-back AL champ. Don’t jump on the Cardinals’ bandwagon. The Rangers deserve your love.

So there you have it, four reasons to consider supporting each of these teams, with some being helpful and some being not so helpful. If I’ve failed to sway you towards either side, I encourage you to tune in anyhow–baseball is the best way to pass the week between football games. And all you Yankees, Sox, Giants and Phils fans, just remember: only 116 days until Spring Training!

Jack Blanchat hopes you’re impressed with his efforts at fairness and political correctness. As a big-time Rangers fan, it took every ounce of his inner southern gentleman. Get ready for game two at blanchat “at” stanford.edu or follow him on Twitter @jmblanchat.