Half Invented: Dismantle. Repair.

Opinion by Chase Ishii
Feb. 14, 2012, 12:28 a.m.

Half Invented: Dismantle. Repair.I’ve heard it said that there are essentially two types of stories: a stranger coming to town, and a person leaving their home on a voyage of discovery.

 

In the former, the main character’s familiar world is shaken and disturbed by “an outsider” to such an alarming degree that returning to the status quo is no longer possible — for example, the movie “Footloose.” (I think. I haven’t actually seen “Footloose.” Though I have seen the scene in “Hot Rod” where Andy Samberg angry-dances in the woods, which I hear is an allusion to “Footloose.” I also danced to the song “Footloose” in an ’80s musical in high school. And by danced, I mean violently hip-thrusted behind everyone else the entire song.)

 

The latter is an adventure story. The main character leaves home and must adapt and expand his or her worldview according to fascinatingly bizarre new interactions and discoveries — for example, in “Alice in Wonderland,” “Candide” or “The Odyssey” (at least according to SparkNotes…just kidding, Honor Code). While both stories follow a character’s changes and challenges, I feel the latter heavily embodies the college experience.

 

A lot can happen away from home, away from familiarity and security. The people around you don’t behave the same way, share the same beliefs or value the same things as the world to which you once belonged. It is a fascinating new world to freely explore or a menacing unknown to fear at every turn. In this sense, we are all nomads, pilgrims and wanderers, all on a voyage of discovery.

 

But the more important discoveries to be made and tensions to be tamed are completely internal. It is the voyage of self-discovery. Only when we’ve “left home” and divorced ourselves from the influences and expectations of our friends, family and familiarity can we confidently distinguish where their perceptions of us stop and where we truly begin. Is this really what I believe, or is this just what I’ve always been taught and expected to believe? Is this actually what I want to do with my life or just what my parents expect of me? Is it wrong of me to think Dubstep has no redeeming qualities? These are questions that don’t have simple answers (except the last one, which is not just a definitive, resounding “no,” but also includes a “shame on you for even second-guessing” wag of the finger.)

 

If we treat this time in college, our first independent steps into the real world, as an adventure, an exploration of identity and self-awareness, we gain a freedom and forgiveness incompatible with the stepping-stone-to-success mentality. In the success framework, a test failed or an opportunity blown is unforgiveable. You can’t get it back, and there’s no redeemable outlook. But there are no wrong turns in an adventure. There are dangers, setbacks and complications, but if you are seeking experiences that reveal who you are and who you want to be, every situation is a stepping stone. There is grace and redemption at every turn.

 

This doesn’t promise or imply that life will always be enjoyable. Adventures often include long treks across scorching deserts, over blistering mountains and through shadowed valleys. Honest introspection can easily lead to feelings of frustration, shame, inadequacy, bitterness or helplessness. But entering into this dangerous vulnerability is where we truly find ourselves, who we are deep down to the core.

 

It’s about this time every quarter when I begin to feel extremely restless, like Stanford is the last place I want to be. (Dan Campbell would say, “I’m not sad anymore, I’m just tired of this place.”) But as I learned last year, after spending a month at home and then three months halfway across the world, the restlessness really had nothing to do with where I was but rather how I was. I had to peel back layer after layer of ugly truth about myself to reach the dark heart of the matter — a lot of unresolved bitterness. Only in comprehending the extent of how easily my actions could be guided by pride and resentment could I truly understand the necessity of forgiveness, humility and honesty in the person I wanted to be.

 

The voyage of self-discovery constantly requires effort and intentionality, with many ups-and-downs, but it is an adventure nonetheless. We must dismantle to repair.

 

If you have thoughts or questions — or would just like to see Chase violently hip-thrust to “Footloose” live and in person — email him at ninjaish “at” stanford “dot” edu.

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