Top 5 Solutions to Ease Your Election Anxiety

Nov. 5, 2012, 12:59 a.m.

Election day looms ahead, even though we’re only just fresh out of the midterm-woods of weeks five and six. With so much on the line this Tuesday, and with two very different political paths riding on the presidential election, tensions are running high even on this happiest and sunniest of campuses. For the sake of your nail beds, back pain and blood pressure, Intermission has compiled a list of the top five ways to scratch that political itch until the ballots are in.

Top 5 Solutions to Ease Your Election Anxiety
Courtesy of Twitter

Check out the Twittersphere

This election, more than any other, has underscored the growing importance of social media in political participation. While there’s still a lot of theorizing, research and studying to do before we go making predictions about the future roles of Twitter, Facebook, etc. in elections, there are a handful of hysterical contributions to the field, and especially for us technology-proficient youths.

One genre we recommend is the YA BOY/YA GIRL accounts. Be sure to check out @YABOYMITT for tidbits of wisdom like “i dont understand poverty like get money b” and “my favorite part in Bambi is when his mom gets killed lol capitalism.” See also the Obama counterpart @YABOYOBAMA (“Drake just called me crying again. Starting to regret giving him my number in exchange for Rihanna’s.), and the not-political but equally hilarious @YABOYBILLNYE if you need a break from the politics game.


YouTube therapy

Unlike Facebook, with its endless comment-fueled flame wars, YouTube is a social media platform that lends itself to popularizing some of the funnier political commentaries. Though a few week’s old, CollegeHumor’s “Mitt Romney style” parody is a classic video which offers an impressive and detail-oriented imitation of PSY’s sensation, “Gangnam Style.”

If you socialize with some of the more liberal-leaning circles at Stanford, you may have also seen FullFrontalFreedom’s One Direction parody, “Disclosure,” which features several scantily clad, studly-looking men calling (or singing, rather) for Romney to disclose his full tax returns.

Also not to be missed are the classics by Bad Lip Reading (BLR), including the recent debate edition (“Eye of the Sparrow”). Intermission will always carry a torch for the Herman Cain edition (“I could prob’ly freak on you!” Too good!).


Get your adrenaline pumping…go base jumping!

Because carpe diem and all that jazz, right? But seriously, seize these couple days to do your high-risk extracurriculars, ’cause you’ll want that spinal trauma covered by insurance companies. It’ll be pretty darn expensive to foot the bill for even a handful of CT scans and the ambulance ride. Might as well rack up those injuries (and bills, bills, bills, in the immortal words of Destiny’s Child) now, or you run the risk that Romney gets elected before you’re admitted to the hospital and immediately swipes that coverage. I hear it’s happening on literally his first day, eh?


Consider the counterfactuals

Which is to say, think about all the potentially scarier or more disastrous turns this election could have taken. The easiest way to do this is, of course, to watch “Game Change,” and at the end, when it closes by hinting at the implications of Sarah Palin’s meteoric rise to popularity, breathe a sigh of relief that Sarah Palin didn’t run for president this year. Also, take solace in the fact that this guy wasn’t responsible for the Romney campaign’s ad strategy, and that the Obama is a Muslim/gay/non-citizen business is no longer really the mainstream. Otherwise, it might have looked something like this creepy little number…



Do your part to stand up for what you believe in and send our fair country in the direction you believe it should be going. Yes, California’s no swing state, but you can still take the opportunity to exercise your right as a citizen, and to actually make a difference in a lot of non-presidential races, like state propositions and local government races. Retweets are not actually votes, so send in your absentee ballots or get your asses to the polls on Tuesday!

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