Surviving Dormcest

Jan. 14, 2013, 1:30 a.m.

Dormcest…it’ll get the best of most of us. When you move in to a new dorm, everyone tells themselves, “Nah, I couldn’t. These people are, like, my new family. Yeah, my neighbor’s cute, but…we’re just such good friends,” and you were for about two months. Maybe three months. And then, lo and behold, one night on frat row, things got very out of control, and now you two aren’t quite sure where to go from here. Let’s look at the options:Surviving Dormcest


Case A: You like him, but you’re not sure if he’s into you too. 

You’ve got to be real sure you want to go down this road. Once you let a neighbor know you’re actually interested in him, things will either go great or sour really fast. Be prepared for things to escalate quickly, because it’s only natural that because you two are in such close quarters that things will move faster than with someone from another dorm.            It’s not too late to decide the timing isn’t right and that maybe you both are probably just better off friends. But in case you really do want to take the next step with him and keep the romance alive, try casually surprising your crush with a cup of coffee or a pastry from Coupa one day. If he responds positively and accepts the gift without any weirdness, or even offers to reciprocate in the future, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s interested in more too. If he greets your gift with hesitation or acts flat-out unappreciative, it’s time to move on. Either way, you aren’t left wondering anymore what that flirty tryst really meant.


Case B: It was all just a big misunderstanding.

After a week, it’s finally comfortable to make eye contact. In three weeks, you guys are starting to say hi again. Everyone in the dorm is sensing the total awkwardness between you two and makes absolutely no attempt at being subtle when they pester you about what happened. Both you and your partner-in-dormcest-crime should decide to blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol and chalk it up to a fun night that never has to be revisited. Two months after the act, both of you look at each other and say, “We cool?” And, well, that’s just the best way to see the end of that.


Case C: Worst. Case. Scenario.

You both awake in an unknown location. You only remember bits and pieces of the encounter, but what you do remember wasn’t pretty. Your dorm mate, however, looks enthused … too enthused, in fact. They brag to their friends about the “sensually liberating experience” you two shared, only their friends are your friends, and you have quite a different story to share. All of a sudden, everyone knows a little too much about your personal life. Your RA comes to ask you how long you two have been hiding your love for each other. After an awkward silence, you excuse yourself to leave for an appointment at Vaden, where you learn you have contracted crabs.


Case D: Best Case Scenario!*

Your friends notice that the two of you have a constant glow for the next month. You smell roses everywhere you go, and the sun has never shone so brightly. You two get married at MemChu five years later and live happily ever after.

*Don’t keep your hopes up for this one.


It’s good to be close to your dorm – just beware of getting a little too close. Even when hooking up with that cutie next door seems like a good idea tonight, it may not turn out so well in the morning. Make sure to take your time and think it through.

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