With Oregon’s big win over Utah at Rice-Eccles Stadium and Arizona State’s sound thumping of Notre Dame on Saturday, the Pac-12 picture has pretty much been decided.

No, Stanford will not three-peat as winner of the Pac-12 North (though really, I think we knew that a long time ago); the Ducks will bear the division banner at Levi’s Stadium for the title game. The Sun Devils’ resistance to exorcism from Touchdown Jesus also ensured that ASU controls its own destiny, with the only tough matchup left on its schedule being the Territorial Cup against Arizona in the final week of the season.

The winner of the Oregon-ASU clash will presumably go on to claim a semifinal berth in the College Football Playoff, while the loser will probably get a bid to a New Year’s Day bowl game.

I mean, that’s all fine and dandy, but that ultimately doesn’t affect my winter break plans. Whether I like it or not, I’ll be spending a few days in whatever city the Bowl Gods deem Stanford worthy of (if Stanford makes a bowl, anyway). Over the last two seasons, we’ve been spoiled by having had the opportunity to spend two consecutive New Year’s Days in sunny, beautiful Pasadena for The Granddaddy of Them All, but that’s not going to be the case this season.

If not Pasadena, then where? I’m by no means an expert, but I’ll try to take you through the options in this column. These scenarios assume that Notre Dame beats USC, Utah beats Arizona, ASU beats Arizona and UCLA beats USC. (By virtue of the fact that this is the Pac-12, I can absolutely guarantee that at least one of those conditions will turn out to be false, so take this column with a grain of salt.)

If Stanford wins out: San Francisco Bowl vs. Big Ten No. 7

(Arizona 8-4, 5-4; Stanford 8-4, 6-3; UCLA 9-3, 6-3; USC 7-5, 6-3; Utah 8-4, 5-4)

Hey, at least Stanford will get to play a game at Levi’s this year! In this scenario, Stanford plays a Big Ten opponent for the third straight season, but instead of the bring-death-to-all defense of Michigan State, it’ll be more along the lines of a more manageable Iowa or Maryland this season. The Cardinal would actually be in line for the Holiday Bowl, but I would be shocked if the Holiday didn’t take USC and its monstrous fanbase closer to San Diego and leave San Francisco for Stanford, which would be a win-win scenario for everybody involved.

Yes, it’s a far cry from the Rose Bowls that we’ve grown accustomed to, but like any self-respecting individual, I’ll just be happy that I’m not spending break in El Paso. Plus Levi’s Stadium is really nice. Plus we’d actually get fans at the game this way. In theory, anyway.

If Stanford beats Utah but loses to UCLA: Las Vegas Bowl vs. Mountain West No. 1

(Arizona 8-4, 5-4; Stanford 7-5, 5-4; UCLA 10-2, 7-2; USC 7-5, 6-3; Utah 8-4, 5-4; UW 8-5, 4-5)

This. This needs to happen. I mean, no, as a Stanford football fan, I don’t want to see Stanford lose another game this season. But as a college-age student driven by caffeine, adrenaline and incredibly stupid life choices, of course I want to go to the Las Vegas Bowl!

Seriously, when even the option of going to Las Vegas for football over the likes of El Paso, Fort Worth and Tempe is available, it’s hard to focus on anything else. Now that the Pac-12 has lost its Hawaii Bowl tie-in (WHY DID WE LET THAT GO), Las Vegas would by far have the most to offer in non-football experience of the Pac-12’s bowls, and who wouldn’t enjoy unwinding on the Las Vegas Strip (responsibly, and only for those over 21, of course) after a tough quarter of football and schoolwork?

This matchup would also be interesting because with Colorado State set to seize a New Year’s Day bowl berth, it could potentially be a Stanford-Boise State game, which would be a cool reunion for Mike Sanford and the rest of the Stanford crew. Stanford probably has an advantage in that game by virtue of not having to play on a blindingly blue field.

And come on. If you’re trying to tell me with a straight face that you wouldn’t want to see David Shaw play some poker with that astonishingly effective poker face of his, you’re kidding, right? I bet if he weren’t a football coach, that calm, calculated, suave man would be making a killing on the professional poker circuit.

If Stanford loses to Utah and UCLA: Armed Forces Bowl vs. AAC

(Arizona 8-4, 5-4; Cal 6-6, 4-5; Stanford 6-6, 4-5; UCLA 10-2, 7-2; USC 7-5, 6-3; Utah 9-3, 6-3; UW 8-5, 4-5)

Okay, I lied earlier. When I went and looked at the complete list of bowl games, I saw that apparently the Bahamas Bowl is a thing (!!!!!!) and that would be without a doubt the best-case scenario. Unfortunately, it does look like Conference USA and the MAC will be able to fill those berths, which I guess is an acceptable compromise for playing in the Conference USA or the MAC for a season.

So we’re entering uncharted territory here. This is the land beyond Pac-12 tie-ins, because at this point, the seven tie-ins will already have been filled by the time Stanford’s name is called. This means that some other bowl game that has a tie-in from a conference that won’t qualify enough teams will need to take the Cardinal.

I picked the Armed Forces Bowl over the likes of the Independence Bowl (Shreveport, Louisiana), the Bitcoin Bowl (St. Petersburg, Florida) and the Quick Lane Bowl (Detroit) because Fort Worth, Texas, the site of the Armed Forces Bowl, is marginally closer than those other sites. That being said, all bets are off at this point and I’m not sure many Stanford fans would travel to see a 6-6 Cardinal team compete in a bowl, anyway.

If Stanford loses Big Game:

Football? That’s the sport with the black and white checkered ball that you kick into a net, right?

Do-Hyoung Park plans to unwind in Sin City after the 2018 Las Vegas Bowl. To help pay his way, send some of your Bitcoin Bowl souvenirs to dpark027 ‘at’ stanford.edu and tweet at him @dohyoungpark.