“I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse,” said writer-director Joss Whedon to Paramount Pictures CEO Brad Grey.
After careful deliberation and a previously unfathomed amount of passionate hand gestures, Whedon, the much-adored mastermind behind “Alien: Resurrection” and four episodes of “Roseanne,” has officially signed on to write and direct the upcoming remake of Francis Ford Coppola’s classic cinematic endeavor, “The Godfather.” The film is set to star long-time Whedon collaborator Nathan Fillion as Michael Corleone — a role originated by Al Pacino, more commonly known as the old guy in Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill.”
Said Whedon on his vision for the film: “I think it’s really important to preserve the integrity of Coppola’s original work. For some people, ‘The Godfather’ really is a sacred text. I have a lot of experience working with opinionated fans, and I think, of all things, I really understand the importance of respecting the source material. With that being said, I also think it’s incredibly crucial to beat your own path, to forge your own trail. I’ll say this: My approach to ‘The Godfather’ is definitely darker and grittier than the original. Also, expect more snap-zooms and a simply uncalled-for amount of witty banter. Oh, and I’ve re-written Don Corleone as Donna Corleone, to be played by the exceptional Amy Acker.”
Whedon says the film is only the first in a series of standalone films, all of which will ultimately culminate in a two-part crossover film entitled “Godfathers: Infinity War.”
“I’m just really interested in this concept of the multiverse right now. Sony is doing it, Marvel is doing it, Lucasfilm is doing it. In this day and age, it’s really just the natural next step in the progression. I can’t see any reason why we shouldn’t do it.”
When asked about his plans to expand “The Godfather” cinematic universe, Whedon replied, “We’re currently circling Robert Downey Jr. to star in a slick and much-needed reboot of ‘Scarface.’”
What’s more? Whedon says that a female-led “Goodfellas” is also in the pipeline.
“Paul [Feig] is already in the process of casting ‘Goodladies,’ and Melissa McCarthy recently agreed to headline the film.”
But that’s not all.
Recent reports suggest that Whedon is also involved in the development of ABC’s “FBI: Agents of the Government,” a spin-off series that will focus on the trials and tribulations of the “G-Men behind the badge.” Whedon had no comment on this theorized spinoff, but brother Jed, who according to the Latino Review, will act as showrunner for the series, had a few thoughts on the present rumors.
“All I can say is that ‘FBI’ will be far worse than the theatrical entries in ‘The Godfather’ cinematic universe (or GCU), but it will retain just enough viewers to justify ABC’s reluctance to just go ahead and put the show out of its misery.”
“FBI: Agents of the Government” is set to premiere next fall, and the rest of Phase One will kick off shortly thereafter with “The Godfather” hitting theaters in May of 2016, followed by “Scarface” in 2017 and “Goodladies” in 2018. At this moment, Paramount has yet to announce an official release date for the speculated “younger” and “more modern” take on “Bonnie and Clyde” or “Godfather: Infinity War.”
Editor’s note: This article was published as part of The Daily’s April Fool’s Day edition and is completely fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.