This is probably not the best way to introduce myself to you all, but I live by a credo which requires honesty in all things. I hope this does not color or shape any possible future interactions, but I have to confess, I do not love Stanford University. There, I said it. Come at me bro! The last part I say in jest, but to be quite frank, I do not love this university and I have a very good reason why: I am a graduate student.

I really like this university in all the ways one loves material and ephemeral things, but right now, at this very moment, I am not in love with this school. Sadly, I am not alone in my sentiments. I came to this jarring realization after attending a home football game: Many other graduate students do not love it either. This to me is problematic (grad school buzzword — drink!) and requires remedying because good ol’ Leland Stanford Junior University is an amazing place that should be very easy to fall in love with.

The problem with many graduate students is that we come from different undergraduate institutions that we have very close attachments to. Along with that, a love of one’s alma mater might be a cultural expression that some students from foreign lands do not hold as dearly as Americans generally do. I cannot easily deconstruct (drink!) all the underlying causes that lead to the emotional attachment we form with institutions such as schools, but there is an underlying fictive narrative (drink!) that arises within group bonding and group formations. There is so much to unpack (drink!) here, but I do not feel qualified to even begin. What I do feel qualified in doing, however, is looking introspectively and asking myself what it would mean to fall in love with Stanford.

I went to Florida State University, during what I have termed as the “Times of Trouble.” Our football program was mediocre, but we had a storied history to stand upon. Most of our other sports programs did not merit much of my attention, with the exception of the occasional visit by the Duke men’s basketball team and the Lady Seminoles soccer games. A teleological argument (you know what to do) can be made that sports was one of the major reasons I fell in love with the garnet and the gold of FSU. It served as a congealing agent among my circle of friends. We could complain about the sorry QB who had it in for us collectively. We could plan tailgate parties. Some of my student organizations made money from helping with stadium security and parking patrols. All these little moments endeared themselves to me. Here at Stanford, those opportunities are few and far between.  

Ontologically speaking (last one, I promise), graduate students at Stanford exists in a confusing paradigm. At once students and teachers (tasked with transmitting knowledge to the undergraduates in their capacities as TAs, etc.), they cannot easily associate themselves with the mechanisms that facilitate and nurture a growing love for collegiate institutions. To me this is unsatisfying and unrewarding, because we can chart a course where we modify those activities in a manner in which the demarcated spaces are not blurred. Graduate students should fall in love with Stanford! We too should go to the football games and know the confusing repertoire that those crazy LSJUMBers play. But we barely know what LSJUMB means. For the record, it’s the name of the school band, and Good Lord do they have an incredulous history. Grad students who say they love their undergraduate institutions only, I say to you, learn to love this place like a parent who has multiple children. If not anything, when you graduate and you get that phone call asking for money for the university, it will feel like your child reaching back into your pockets once again.