“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it.”
— Cady Heron, “Mean Girls”
I am Anita Richard, and I approve of this message.
Trick-or-treat! There’s something I’ve always enjoyed about Halloween. Maybe it’s getting my bag stuffed full of goodies. Maybe it’s unwrapping your sweet delights. Or maybe it’s because Halloween is the one night of the year that I’m encouraged to hop on a broomstick and ride it all night long. There are many reasons why I have always loved this spooky, portentous night. This year, let’s make you one of them.
Just because we outgrew many of Halloween’s festivities years ago doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy some of this sacred holiday’s most esteemed traditions. And admit it: Some of you will still Uber to neighborhoods in Palo Alto to go door-to-door for a little something in the sack. Don’t be too picky. Stick your hand in and tell me what you’re feeling. And don’t forget to have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
You can always spice up your night without leaving campus or compromising the spirit of the day. Try some good old-fashioned partner pumpkin carving. Don’t be afraid to dig in and make a night of it. Not ready to get your hands dirty? Pop in a scary movie and makes moves on that sexy bunny.
I know that the 31st is fast approaching and midterms have kept you busy. If you’re looking for last-minute costume ideas, ditch the cat ears, because I have you covered:
•Ghost: Get under a sheet, and start moaning and groaning.
•Mummy: Wrap it up tight. You’ll scare them stiff.
•Vampire: Use your fangs to suck them dry.
•Zombie: Come back from the dead for round two … or three … or four.
On Halloween, one piece is not enough. If you aren’t willing to satisfy my desires, I can always go next door for more.