It’s 6 p.m. on a Friday night, and you’ve finally finished that problem set that’s been screwing with your sleep schedule for the past two nights. Ready for a night out on the town? We know just how you’ll spend it in downtown Palo Alto: the bustling epicenter of Silicon Valley’s nightlife scene.

6:30 p.m. – Got a little extra cash lying around from selling your body to science? Put that psych study money to good use at any of the overpriced restaurants lining University Ave. that serve up Asian-inspired cuisine that’s been mellowed down just the right amount to suit American taste buds. Spending regretful sums of money on very OK Asian-fusion food has never felt so good.

8 p.m. – After being some of the last diners to leave the restaurant at the ripe old hour of 8 p.m., wander the twinkle light-illuminated streets in search of anything that isn’t liquid nitrogen ice cream. Spend a hopeless half hour trying to entertain yourselves in Walgreens. Easter candy is still 80 percent off — that’s one hot deal.

8:45 p.m. – Settle for coffee as an alternative to any of the microcreameries/frozen yogurt shops. Realize the majority of cafés have closed for the night. End up at Starbucks, rubbing elbows with Palo Alto High School’s Lululemon-wearing, nonfat vanilla bean frappuccino-sipping elite.

9:30 p.m. – Scream into the void. Self-explanatory.

10:15 p.m. – Walk all the way back to campus down Palm Drive, clutching a boba tea and refusing to give in to the voice in your head coaxing you to just order a damn Uber.

 

Contact Cecilia Atkins with your riveting Palo Alto nightlife stories at catkins ‘at’ stanford.edu.