Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Social: Try to organize the most pure night of fun with friends you can conceive. You know what they say: wholesome is the new edgy.

Academic: Try the path of least resistance today. Sometimes when the going gets tough, the tough smartly go away.

Random: Instead of water, drink sparkling or even flavored water for a day. Live a lush life.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Social: If time seems to be moving too quick for comfort, spend a while doing something mind-numbingly boring for an hour. It could help, or just make you more existential …

Academic: If you’re feeling confused or out-of-the-loop in one of your classes, well, good luck.

Random: Buy the spiritual opposite of your go-to drink at Starbucks.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Social: Love (both platonic and romantic) is in the air during this humdrum Week 3! Maybe you could head to the Row, where all great love stories begin. Who knows what sparks will fly when you make bleary-eyed but romantic eye-contact with that cute guy/gal from section.

Academic: It might take a while to get back into the swing of things after this weekend. Make sure to study smart rather than hard! Actually, you’ll probably need do both …

Random: You might end up spending more, perhaps in meal plan dollars, than you had anticipated. Don’t let this bother you — ’tis the season for a little self-indulgence.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Social: Meet for coffee with someone you haven’t seen in a while (yes, that means come through on those “We have to get coffee!” promises we toss around). It’ll teach you something new and important.

Academic: You might be feeling overwhelmed by an ever-growing checklist of assignments and applications. Sorry to hear that.

Random: If you can help it, spend a day in socks and sandals. It can work wonders on your aesthetic.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Social: You might be spending too much time with the same people and this is beginning, in fact, to hurt your friendship. Perhaps your memes are now so alike (ahem, Tide Pods) that there is no longer the same excitement, the same edginess. It’s time to broaden your horizons and your Facebook tags.

Academic: Now that winter break has been over for three weeks, it’s time to actually begin attending lecture. Perhaps you’re now thinking, “But I have been attending lecture!” That may be so, but ask yourself have you been truly present?

Random: You might be feeling colder than usual, so perhaps put on another jacket.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Social: Someone’s behavior might surprise you this week. Cut them out of your life forever. Just kidding (somewhat).

Academic: You will be feeling imaginative this week, so let that reflect in your work. Take a risk, but not a risky risk.

Random: This week calls for a detox. One option is to try some real eggs, not the powdered stuff they serve in the dining halls. If you’re vegan, well, you’re probably detoxed enough.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Social: If you’re finding that social media is making you more unhappy than not, try unplugging for one day of the week. Of course, feel free to check your email, as mailing-list spam might cause it to combust.

Academic: Go to office hours this week, just for funsies, it might change your outlook … on everything.

Random: Reply to a mailing list plug with something weirdly thoughtful. It might remind you that your inbox is more than a dumping ground, even if that dumping ground is full of job and networking opportunities.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Social: Don’t let something petty get in the way of an important relationship. Agree to disagree or something.

Academic: Make sure not to take on too much this week. Some of your present commitments might (will definitely) prove demanding.

Random: Treat yourself to some overpriced Stanford paraphernalia this week. The outcome might be unexpected.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

Social: Part of you feels like you haven’t got your fix of Deep Conversations At College recently. See what you can do to change that.

Academic: You will be struck with an unexpected but welcome moment of understanding in a class or section or during research today. Give yourself a mental high-five for it.

Random: If you find yourself borderline seasonal depressive in the evening, try taking the Caltrain to a new side of the Bay Area.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Social: As the quarter social scene begins to seem routine, it might be time to burst the bubble. Call a friend or family member back home; their advice might serve you well.

Academic: Hit the ground running this week and challenge yourself to finish an assignment two days early. An instance of hyper-efficiency will make you feel great.

Random: *Insert Panda Express fortune here* Try the new 8 Treasure chicken while you’re at it.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Social: Go to a party (party can be broadly-defined) because you might find yourself having fun.

Academic: If you’re a little lethargic about going to class this week, try sitting in one of the frontmost rows.

Random: Try making a meme. Bonus points if its politically woke.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Social: Do something ~cultured~. It could be eating a foreign food with friends, watching foreign TV or maybe even talking too that objectively cool international student down the hall.

Academic: You might be fatigued by the work you’re doing, p-set or essay, and need to be reminded why you’ve committed to what you’re doing.

Random: Instead of a heartbreakingly short nap, dictated by the timer on your iPhone, take the opportunity to nap freely and without regret.

 

For more unqualified astrological advice, contact Megha Parwani at mparwani ‘at’ stanford.edu.