Five questions to avoid small talk

Oct. 11, 2018, 1:00 a.m.

It’s New Student Orientation, more commonly known as NSO (as I’ve quickly learned, you’d be hard pressed to find a Stanford word that doesn’t have its own abbreviation). Never in your life have you met so many people at once. Names are being thrown at you a mile a minute, and, if you’re anything like me, you’re not going to remember any of them. As it often is when meeting new people, small talk is inevitable. You’ll ask polite, non-intrusive questions with a huge smile strung across your face, poised for the next “Hi! Nice to meet you!” Having recently completed this three-day extravaganza, here are five question to ask – besides the obvious name and dorm – to make NSO small talk bearable, or even possibly enjoyable.

1. What are you interested in studying?

Don’t ask what they want to major in. Most people probably don’t know or if they think they know, it’ll probably change at some point or another. Asking about academic interests, however, is broader and will likely lead to a more interesting conversation about whatever passions they have. You may even find that you have interests in common!

2. Have you ever been to (insert country/state/city you are from)?

Where are you from? is a foolproof and safe opener. However, follow up by asking if whoever you’re talking to has ever visited the general area of your hometown. If they have, then ask them about it! The best way to avoid awkward small talk is just to ask relevant follow-up questions. Of course, unless you live in a big city, it’s more likely that they haven’t been to your specific hometown. In that case, tell them something interesting about where you’re from, or something that you’ll miss from home that isn’t in Palo Alto.

3. Where have you always dreamed of traveling?

Staying with the locations theme, ask them about a place they’ve always wanted to visit. You’ll likely hear a wide range of answers and gain insight on places you may know nothing about. Ask why and what they would choose to do there. Alternatively, tell them about your dream travels and see if you have any places in common. Follow up by asking if they want to go abroad at some point during their time at Stanford!

4. What did you like to do in high school?

Considering Stanford’s inclination towards highly-motivated and multi-faceted students, chances are, whoever you’re talking to did more than just study throughout high school. Maybe they played a sport, excelled at theater, the visual arts or community service. Assuming it’s something they’re passionate about, this question will likely prompt a long and compelling conversation, and really help you get to know the person better.

5. What’s your all-time favorite food?

Last but certainly not least: food. Everyone loves talking about food and food can surprisingly reveal a lot about a person’s preferences and personality. Ask them about their favorite meal that they eat at home, favorite comfort food or favorite dessert. The possibilities are endless.

NSO is undoubtedly overwhelming. Hundreds of people will ask you what your name is and what dorm you’re living in. But getting to know people doesn’t have to be that monotonous. Be sure to take advantage of the three days and enjoy conversations that go deeper than surface level small talk. NSO can be a unique opportunity to meet distinct, talented people who will become your classmates, teammates and friends.

 

Contact Elizabeth Dunn at eldunn14 ‘at’ stanford.edu.

Login or create an account

JOIN THE STANFORD DAILY

Priority application deadline
Saturday, October 5th

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds