Frosh thoughts that I’ve had (and you had too)

Oct. 11, 2018, 1:00 a.m.

If you’re a frequent consumer of memes you’ve probably seen the Stanford Memes for Edgy Trees Facebook group. During the past few weeks, there have been memes about frosh and our lanyards as well as a tag yourself frosh meme.

Most jokes do stem from truth… With that said, here are some frosh thoughts that I’ve had (and I know you did, too):

1. How old is everyone?

A guy with a beard sat next to me in class and I had no idea if he was a freshman or a fifth year senior. I opened the door to my psych section and very quickly closed it because I thought I was in the wrong place — I sheepishly entered a few seconds later. They probably thought I was weird.

2. Wow, I’m a great biker!

Driving with one hand and swerving between pedestrians, I feel the exhilaration of self-sustained transit. Nobody can tell that I didn’t know how to ride a bike until I was 12!

3. What’s Stanford’s walking culture like?

As I lay there on the hot concrete, my knee gushing blood, I reflected on the sheer hubris of my younger self. I flew too close to the sun and ended up hitting a confused businessman. I said “on your left” and he literally went to the left.

4. TreeMaps is the GOAT.

I don’t know how to get anywhere but my dorm and my classes. I get lost on the daily. I’m that person who when you bike by me, you can hear TreeMaps robotically say “turn left” very loudly from my backpack.

5. Rollouts are scary.

About a week ago I woke up to rumbling. I was convinced that I was experiencing my first California earthquake. But then I heard a name. And the name of a club. Let’s just say that I was confused, and it took me being rolled out a week later to understand what was happening. In the meantime, I groaned, rolled over and went back to sleep.

6. Living in a dorm is actually pretty disgusting.

You are living in a hall with a ton of people you have never met before, getting sick because you don’t have the proper antibodies for everyone’s germs (science?) and constantly dodging hair in the shower.

7. I like my lanyard.

How else am I supposed to keep track of my keys?

8. Wow, dining hall food isn’t that bad.

I thought this on day one. The salmon was banging.

9. Wow, dining hall food is that bad.

I thought this on day eight. I simply ate to have food in my stomach.

10. The recycling bins make no sense.

For about two weeks, I was dumping everything into the big dumpster, which I later learned was labeled “landfill.” I still dump everything into the big dumpster. Sorry Students for a Sustainable Stanford. I am working on it, I promise.

11. The Freshman 15 isn’t a thing here.

I discovered this after I ran for my life during band run. I rediscovered this when I walked to Roble Gym and thought I was going to die. I re-rediscovered this when I ran out of meal swipes on a Thursday because I thought I could eat three meals a day. This is Stanford’s subliminal messaging at its best.

12. Eurotrash is TRASH.

I realized how sad it was to see hundreds of frosh waving their SUIDs in attempt to get in to their first ‘party.’ My shoes were sticking to the floor and the bathroom line was three miles long. Not to mention that the music was terrible. Maybe that was the point. Let’s just say I left after ~20 minutes and that was that.

Frosh year is weird.


Contact Kyla Windley with your frosh thoughts at kwindley ‘at’

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