The four noble truths of exercise balls

Nov. 29, 2018, 1:23 a.m.

Life is hard, but discovering the truth about it can be even harder. If you rewound me two months or so, you might catch me in the act of carefully browsing Amazon in search of the best deal on an exercise ball, hoping to decide whether buying one would be worth the cost. That’s every consumer’s dilemma: How can you judge which thing is the best thing for the price?

I wish someone had enlightened me about these balls, so that I wouldn’t have been able to avoid problem sets while scouring through Amazon attempting to discern the difference between yoga balls, medicine balls, swiss balls, pilate balls, office chair balls and birthing balls. (As it turns out, they’re interchangeable, and I think I already knew that). In that vein, I’ve dedicated this article to disseminating the noble truths about exercise balls that I’ve worked so hard to gather over these past several weeks. I hope it will vanquish any excuses you might think you have for not doing what you know you can do to live your best life; the time for sitting has passed.

1. Exercise balls are bouncy and wildly fun.

When’s the last time you walked into someone’s room and caught them bouncing up and down? Hopefully never, because to “catch” a bouncer would imply their oscillatory behavior is out of place. The truth is quite the opposite: Frivolously bouncing in your chair is a genuinely enjoyable pastime that deserves to be celebrated. Maybe it’s out of the ordinary, but who cares! Boldly be your bouncy self; it’s a great way to let out the jittery energy we normally lock up tight!

2. Exercise balls are versatile.

Stretch your spine, do some crunches and get off your behind! You can do so much with those balls it’s actually intimidating… but that doesn’t mean you have to be intimidated. A month back, I watched a YouTube video of former MMA fighter Joe Rogan delivering a spiel about workout motivation. In it, Rogan compares the human body to a car. You can upgrade your personal car to be fiercely powerful, last longer than your mechanic expected, look and feel nicer, be more efficient, etc. all you have to do is put in some solid effort by stretching and straining. It’s a no-brainer! Exercising on a so-called exercise ball is a fun way to soup up your car, and the internet is full of resources that can help you drink that soup.

3. Exercise balls are way more comfortable than wooden chairs.

Face it, we’ve all been there: You have a classic case of “my back is killing me” from being locked in an eternal prison of rock-hard chairs. Back pain is an epidemic in America, systematically crippling us studious types before our primes. Did you know that back pain is estimated to cost the US more than $100 billion in lost wages every year? We spend most of our lives in the unnatural position of the “sit,” and wooden dorm chairs aren’t helping. Don’t be another statistic; be the upstanding you!

4. Exercise balls can be quite gorgeously decorated.

Mine looks like a cloudy day. The beauty might cost you a few dollars extra, though. Is it worth it?


Contact Coco Hergenroeder at codyhergenroeder ‘at’ 

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