Top five college Ls

May 15, 2019, 1:00 a.m.

Since coming to college, I have observed some trends in terms of what constitutes a day as “just not my day.” I thought I would highlight some major ones here, so without further ado, here are the Top Five College Ls.

5. Forgetting to charge your laptop

Picture this: It is a beautiful California spring day. There is a gentle breeze, the birds are chirping and you have enough work to knock you into next Tuesday. You decide that it is a perfect day to sit outside and grind on your math p-set. You gather up all of the necessities: snacks, your electronics, a blanket, a water bottle, a speaker, textbooks from classes you took last quarter, tanning lotion, sunglasses, an umbrella (in case it rains), fancy cooling mist you found on Amazon, your favorite book and a neck pillow. You find the ideal spot in the center of Meyer Green and get all set up. Feeling ready to be super productive, you press the power button and feel your heart sink out of your chest as the red battery sign appears on your screen. Your computer is lying with the dead! You get up to go back inside, questioning why on Earth you thought it was a good idea to bring your heavy speaker with you. After the long trek back, you stumble into your room, flop onto your bed and decide it is time for a nap. Hard work is tiring.

4. Forgetting to put fruit in your fridge when your parents come to visit

There has only been one time this year that I have heard our floor’s shared vacuum being used more than once a month — family weekend. Suddenly, the dumpsters outside were filled to the brim, beds were made and the air was filled with the scent of Febreeze.

At first, everything was going perfectly. Your dad patted you on the shoulder and your mom got teary-eyed looking at your folded clothes. All was well until your mom showed you your surprise: your favorite homemade meals. She reaches for your fridge to put them away for later, and you feel your pride in the day shatter into a million pieces. You forgot to stock your fridge with healthy, non-Freshman 15 food. Busted!

3. Categorizing your syllabus as a TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)

We have all been there. It is the first week of classes, and you are ready to start the quarter off strong. You sit down in the first class of the day, coffee in hand, and put on your thinking cap. You give all of your attention to the professor as he starts lecturing. Then he passes out what seems like a novel — the course syllabus — and you put it on your color-coded To-Do list for that evening to read through. Fast-forward seven weeks, and you hear the person next to you in class talk about the final project that is due the next day. You hurriedly ask them what they are talking about, and they say pretentiously, “Didn’t you read the syllabus?” Oh yeah … that. Sleep is overrated anyways.

2. Locking yourself out of the dorm at strange hours of the day

It is a Saturday morning, and you wake up way too early for no reason whatsoever. You decide to do some early-morning laundry before the rush and gather up clothes from every corner of the room, under the bed, on the desk and on the floor. Finally, you stumble out of your room weighed down by smelliness, and just as you step outside and hear the door lock behind you, you remember you put your key down when grasping for that lone sock under your nightstand. No worries; someone will come let you in. Oh wait, it is 7 a.m. on a Saturday! To make the situation worse, you forgot your phone inside as well. I guess it is time for a nap outside on a bench.

1. Finding out about free food after it’s gone

Okay, so this is the biggest college L. On average, you receive about a bazillion college emails a day from different organizations throwing parties, mixers, study sessions and everything else in between. On a Friday afternoon, you decide to look through your inbox more carefully and learn that in the span of a week, you missed opportunities to get free boba, ice cream and even full meals for very little work. On top of that, you think of the fact that you had Easy Mac four days in a row while trying to cram before an exam, and you question where your priorities lie.

Contact Trisha Kulkarni at trishak8 ‘at’

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