NSA Agent takes over Zoom English class to talk about 1984

Humor by Rae Wymer
July 17, 2020, 5:15 p.m.

A Zoom English class was interrupted today by an unexpected visitor, National Security Administration (NSA) agent Jon Doe. The class was discussing the novel “1984” by George Orwell, and its parallels to current life when Doe joined the call. The class had just finished comparing America’s national security with Big Brother. 

Sophomore English teacher Julia Wordsworth told The Daily she was, “surprised, but relieved it was not the Chinese government.” 

In the middle of class, Jon Doe hacked the Zoom call, launching into an argument that 1984 was an unrealistic comparison to modern security. “In the free world we would never let that happen,” said Doe. “That’s why we started all those wars; it was to keep world peace.” 

As the discussion continued Wordsworth tried to bring the focus back to the novel. However, she was continually muted by Doe who objected to those ideas. “Absolutely absurd,” he said. “We would never betray the American people like that.”

In response a student asked, “What about Snowden?”

The student’s WiFi failed after asking the question, and Doe never answered.

Wordsworth and her students tried to take control over the meeting, but were silenced. Students left the zoom shortly after, but Wordsworth saw them filming Doe’s rant to post online.

The Daily reached out to the NSA with requests to comment. They refused to speak, citing their privacy as a matter of national security.  

Before signing off Doe reminded the class, “Don’t worry, your security is our top priority.”

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Contact Rae Wymer at raewymer ‘at’ gmail.com.

Rae Wymer is a high schooler writing as part of The Daily's Summer Journalism Workshop.

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