Satire by Mariam Guirgis
Trump’s decision to ban TikTok after Gen Z users left him mean Instagram comments and pulled pranks on him has caused Gen Z to prepare for a war that no one will see coming. It can’t be a coincidence that he’d want to ban an app that has hurt his feelings.
“If they do decide to ban it, there isn’t much we can do besides raid The White House and make sure Trump’s term in office ends early,” one TikTok user said.
Gen Z has made it clear that they are not messing around. Since the month of June, teens on TikTok have teamed up to make sure Trump’s last few months in office will be remembered for years to come.
Using the app, which has 800 million users, teens across the country joined forces to sabotage Trump’s rally that took place in outer space. Trump said the location choice ensured a “corona-free environment,” prioritizing Trump supporters over the 328.2 million lives in the U.S.
One Gen Z TikTok user posted a video in which she said, “Oh no, I signed up for a Trump rally, and I can’t go *cough cough* I’m sick.” The caption read, “It would be a shame if people knew reserving rocket seats at a Trump rally was free.”
Even though one million people registered to attend his rally, no one showed up. It looks like not one person wanted to listen to Trump (or risk their lives by travelling into space without training or protective measures).
After the prank that was pulled at the rally, Trump announced that he would ban TikTok. Coincidence? I think not!
“If teenagers think they can outsmart me, just wait until I bring out the nukes on them,” Trump wrote in a Tweet.
“If you’re going to mess with our app, we’re going to take you down with our highly supernatural renegade dance powers,” said a 19-year-old TikTok user in response.
Another TikTok user posted a video saying, “Maybe instead of killing more kids than you’re already doing by forcing schools to open back up, take the L.” The video then shows Trump losing his oxygen tank in space.
Some might say that quarantine is what is causing teens to pull these pranks, but let’s be honest here — Gen Z is very underrecognized for what they are able to do. Examples include proving their intelligence by eating laundry detergent, binge watching Ryan Murphy shows and creating a YouTube video making fun of CollegeBoard’s logic about AP testing.
They don’t need quarantine to troll Trump; all they need is TikTok to be able to connect with one another like they did after the PSAT earlier this year, when they shared answers and memes of the testing material on TikTok and other forms of social media.
That’s not all: users of TikTok are now on another mission. If Trump can threaten to ban TikTok, Gen Z will surely teach him a lesson.
Users are leaving bad reviews on the Official Trump 2020 app in hopes of getting it banned. Not only that, teens are also flooding Trump’s Instagram with cute fairy comments — mean comments with a twist. One comment on his recent post says, “When peter pan flew away to neverland 🦋💫💞🥰🌈 it was to get away from you 😘🧚🏼♀️✨😍💐.”
People need to start realizing the power Gen Z holds. Yes, we may have done some questionable things like the Tide Pod Challenge and almost getting ourselves killed by raiding Area 51, but that’s not the point. Gen Z has organized Black Lives Matter protests and publicly humiliated the president multiple times.
Gen Z will definitely be remembered — we’ve endured a pandemic, a mass lockdown, a racial revolution and, most importantly, have driven Trump to ban TikTok.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Mariam Guirgis at mariamhany3 ‘at’ gmail.com.