Indie-pop singer Tia Gostelow’s single “Psycho” reveals the detrimental impact of gaslighting in relationships. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which a person coerces their victim to doubt their sanity — gradually taking power over them.
The artist has amassed support from CLASH, Earmilk and Triple J. She toured Europe and played major festivals in Australia, garnering the likes of Gomez, Frightened Rabbit, Lewis Capaldi, The Rubens, Ball Park Music and Boy & Bear. Gostelow has over 15 million Spotify streams and 272,000 monthly listeners to date.
The singer recalled her sixth birthday when she instantly fell in love with singing and performing after receiving a keyboard and a microphone. Gostelow mentioned that SingStar on Playstation was a big deal back in her home. In addition, the Country Music Channel was always playing in the background.
Gostelow said, “I would make my younger brother video me performing and singing. It’s pretty funny and cringe worthy watching those videos back now. I would even pretend I was backstage getting ready for a big show and be all dressed up!”
The singer’s biggest influences in music are Taylor Swift and Australian singer-songwriter Melody Pool.
“I saw Taylor Swift at a music festival, CMC Rocks the Snowys, when we were down in southern NSW (New South Wales) visiting my grandparents when I was 7. I instantly fell in love with her and wanted to be exactly like her,” Gostelow disclosed.
She continued, “My parents bought me a $30 guitar from eBay right after that, and I used YouTube to teach myself to play all her songs. I was obsessed!”
The idea for Gostelow’s song “Psycho” emerged when she entered a session with her friend Aidan Hogg back in 2019. The artist wanted to write a song about a topic that was prominent in the media at that time — an issue that also affected her personally.
“Conversations about gaslighting in relationships was all I was reading about on my phone. It was all over my Facebook and Instagram, and people were speaking up about their experiences which made me think about mine,” Gostelow said.
The situation forced her to think about the situations and relationships she had been in where she experienced gaslighting. Gostelow wants people to realize that they’re not alone and that there are other people out there who have unfortunately been in similar situations.
(Photo: Jeff Andersen)
“I constantly thought I was the issue — that everything was my fault. I kept apologizing for things that I later realized weren’t my fault at all. I felt like I was turning into this psycho person, and it seemed like nobody else saw where I was coming from,” the singer confessed.
She continued, “Seeing all of these other people speaking up about it, however, made me deal with my emotions that I had just ignored. I finally felt like I could put all of my anger, frustration and hurt into something that means something.”
The artist revealed that there was a moment during the recording process that felt special. They were laying down the vocals for the outro of the song where the huge high notes are placed. She was hesitant to hit them, but once she did, it felt like such a powerful moment for her.
Gostelow said that the most important words in the song were, “Sorry that you think I’m the problem. You closed off now I’m the one struggling. Maybe it was me being the cold one. Maybe it was you.”
“I feel like it represents the thoughts going on in someone’s mind who is being gaslit. Apologizing for the other person’s actions and constantly second guessing yourself was something I dealt with in my own situation. It made me feel crazy, so I really wanted to portray that in the song,” the artist said.
Topics like this were once never talked about, and Gostelow is glad that people are finally speaking up about their experiences.
“I really do hope that listening to the song helps people with their experiences and makes them realize that they’re not alone,” the singer hoped.
Despite Gostelow’s bad experience in her relationship, she is garnering worldwide success with her music. Her most unforgettable gig was when she played at a free festival in Brisbane called Mountain Goat Valley Crawl during the start of 2020.
The artist said, “It’s the first festival I’ve ever headlined, and I was so nervous about it and super scared that nobody would show up. It actually ended up being one of the biggest shows I’ve played. There was a line up around the corner to get in, which was so insane.”
Gostelow concluded with powerful advice for aspiring singers, “Stay true to yourself, be patient and try to not get caught up with comparing your journey to that of others, even though that’s really bloody hard not to do!”
Contact Ron Rocky Coloma at rcoloma ‘at’ stanford.edu.