Satire by Andy Diaz
With the rise of vintage clothing and appeal for older styles of clothes long deemed out of style, teens are looking to Depop to find all their 2000s grail pieces. Enter Depop sellers, the backbone of the vintage fashion industry.
These sellers work tirelessly, digging through the massive piles of donated clothes in thrift stores, to find the perfect Hanes and Fruit of the Loom shirts. While these shirts have very obvious stains and reek of mildew, these factors add to the vibe.
Someone’s child spilled soup on their baby t-shirt in 2001? That stain carries a story, which in turn marks up the price. After finding the perfect vintage t-shirts from 2015, Depop sellers pay with their parents’ credit cards and leave the thrift stores knowing they are about to provide their customers with perfectly worn-in, rare articles of clothing.
One seller described their experience as “something truly impactful to people.”
“I feel I am doing my part to save the earth by giving people the opportunity to shop ethically. All my listed items are a bit pricier but that’s because of how vintage they are,” the seller said. “It’s very hard to come by baby tees from the Y2K era.”
Depop shoppers are flocking to sellers each day, looking to find the latest drops because these sellers have made thrifting much more convenient. In less than a year, Depop sales of vintage tees have gone up by 600 percent as sellers are putting in countless hours in the baby section of thrift stores to find partially ruined but meaningful shirts.
KendollVintage, a Depop seller who rose to stardom this past year, had a lot to say about her experience on Depop.
“Being a Depop seller is a career option now. I will find the most glorious angel baby tee at Goodwill for two dollars, and sell it for thirty. It truly is wonderful. I can provide people with the cutest pieces they want, and I can make a quick buck. On top of that, I’m helping the earth. It’s a win, win, win.”
Depop has completely eliminated the need to thrift in the modern age of online shopping. Not only are teens no longer thrifting in person, but a study found that they are spending on average three times as much annually than when they thrifted in person. While thrift stores are being run dry of clothes across the country, Depop thrives in this renaissance of vintage aesthetic.
It is truly inspiring to see people take the initiative to help consumers get the vintage pieces they need without the time or effort.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Andy Diaz at adiaz21 ‘at’ csus.org.