‘Love is Blind,’ Tree Edition, Ep. 5-6: Panic! at the Loopchat

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Contestants had to make some tough decisions in this episode’s minigame of Kiss, Marry, Kill and in their phone calls the next day, causing quite a bit of internal conflict and several confrontations.

Fresh Mango, for instance, chose to marry yes homo, but yes homo decided to kill him out of some apparent jealousy over Fresh Mango’s flirtation with Faire N. Hyte. But reconciliation seems to be on the horizon, since yes homo ended up choosing Fresh Mango as his first choice.

More than one contestant found themselves having to turn down someone who thought they’d be getting a phone call. Some faced the psychological turmoil of accidentally not choosing someone who chose them on the assumption that they wouldn’t be chosen in return. Sometimes the timing isn’t always right — but we’ve heard some are trying to organize their own secret calls? Not so secret if all the Instagram followers know about it, but we will support a cute Zoom rendezvous. They could wait a day or two for the show to end, but nothing gets in the way of love!

Faire N. Hyte did his best to play wingman for Honeycrisp with Crepe, causing some confusion and chaos. But according to Honeycrisp, “No matter what weird stuff I laid down, he always came back with something super smooth.” Sounds like it’s meant to be, but we’ll have to wait for their phone call to know for sure.

Speaking of confusion, Pineapple Princess gave Papi Pablo blatant misinformation about some purported uses for period blood, but he didn’t seem to catch on. We’re hoping he spends a little time on Google later because we haven’t read anything that alarming since our last WebMD search. Maybe his mind was just on other things, because he was clearly panicking over the decisions in Kiss, Marry, Kill.

Coffee Cup and flip flop are going strong as each other’s respective No. 1’s, although both expressed leanings toward friendship.

Dragon of the Stressed (and of spreadsheets) took the time to organize everyone’s responses, and we think they deserve some kind of award for their sheer effort. They and Joelle Mayweather, alongside TSMA and hotpot, are still on their streak of choosing each other since Day 1. But Dragon of the Stressed does have a call with hotpot and hasn’t explicitly told TSMA, whom they’re friends with, about it.

And now for the wholesome moment we’ve been waiting for: phone calls. Sounds like the contestants have been practicing their ASMR.

flip flop commented that she was both surprised and unsurprised at Coffee Cup’s voice. So did Galactic Storm about Fresh Mango, even calling him an “enigma for the entire game” — and we would agree! Our personal favorite was the call between Pineapple Princess and Crepe Cake … until she called him out on copy and pasting texts to other people.

TSMA contemplated pulling a prank on hotpot and answering in a ridiculous accent, but ultimately decided it was too risky. Overall, the phone calls only furthered the chemistry between our favorite couples, and we can’t wait to see the big face reveals!

Favorite “couples”:
Michaela: Just Faire N. Hyte, as a concept
Nicole: Coffee Cup and flip flop. Vibing with this comedic tumblr energy.

Favorite quotes:
Michaela: “What makes you think I don’t have an Onlyfans already?” — Galactic Storm
Nicole: “I’ve just been sitting in my bed sort of panicking for like an hour.” — flip flop

Contact Nicole Tong at nwtong ‘at’ stanford.edu and Michaela Guo at mcguo ‘at’ stanford.edu.

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