Satire by Elizabeth "Betsy" Kim
The Occasionally staff recently obtained an exclusive tour of People of Praise’s prayerful premises. Perched on a wall, hanging right below a fresco of a blond-haired, blue-eyed baby Jesus, was a poem written by judicial wunderkind and tenured Handmaiden Amy Coney Barrett in the ninth grade.
Separate the Church and State? Sister, you miscalculate. Domesticate! Proliferate! But God and Man do not equate. With God you must not disagree— After all, sad will the day be, When you, shirking full salvation, Face eternal Death, damnation! At Hell’s Gate, you cannot shriek, “Oh, dear Husband, can you save me?” Come instead to People of Praise, You won’t have rights for the rest of your days. Join me here; let’s be Handmaidens— Your flesh for Jesus; it’s a trade in. Holy holy holy holy, Glory to God (a light-skinned man) be.
Your favorite future #SupremeCourtJustice, #BibleOriginalist and #CatholicNotCatholic,
Amy Coney Barrett