Stanford has been getting a lot of flak recently for failing to completely divest its endowment from fossil fuels as its peer institutions like Harvard and Dartmouth pledge to do so. I’m here to report that fortunately, Stanford has taken other measures to balance out the university’s carbon footprint. 

Those criticizing the Board of Trustees for its decisions should first consider R&DE’s initiative “No-Heat November” (NHN), which encourages students to think critically about their energy use. Stanford promotes this experiential learning model to help us integrate climate awareness into our everyday lives. Instead of turning on the heat as the winter months approach and it gets cold, what if we simply… did not? No-Heat November will challenge students to realize the small but meaningful impact they can have in the fight against climate change. The Board urges us to believe that we can save the planet, one cold college student at a time. 

The new NHN program aims to prove that through embracing some minor discomfort, we can make easy choices in our lives that will pitch in to help counteract the Board’s investment in fossil fuels. As a Stanford community, it is our collective responsibility to reach carbon neutrality. Next time you think about critiquing the Board’s climate agenda, remember that there are steps you can take yourself to create change.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.