Crothers no longer all-frosh due to Judge Crothers’ haunting

Humor by Ben Lees
Jan. 24, 2022, 10:34 p.m.

Two weeks ago, Stanford announced changes to the residential neighborhood system, including changing Crothers Memorial Hall to upper-class housing, rather than all-frosh. The University attributes these changes to a series of recent supernatural events, including a string of appearances of the spirit of Judge George Crothers, namesake of Crothers Memorial.

This year, Crothers Hall and neighboring Crothers Memorial Hall were both configured as all-frosh dormitories, together housing over 300 students. Next year, though, Crothers Memorial will host upper-class students instead. “We are working to right-size frosh dorms to ensure frosh can live undisturbed by valued University contributors from beyond the grave,” the University wrote in a report.

Due to the large concentration of frosh and the absence of upper-class students, Crothers is often the location of parties and social events. On several occasions, Crothers residents have reported seeing the ghost of Judge George Crothers following especially noisy gatherings. Several students weighed in with their experiences.

“It was last week, I think — I don’t really remember every time something like this happens,” said Hannah Boyle ’25, a Crothers resident. “Anyway, about 10 of us were in my room, just chilling and listening to some music, like usual. Then it got really cold all of a sudden, and this spectral figure in a robe was chasing us out of the building.”

Maryanne Hall ’25, who lives nearby, recalled the incident, too: “One minute my neighbors were screaming along to ‘Baby Shark’; the next they were screaming and running for the door. I was so glad I could finally get some sleep.”

Despite the threat of ghostly interruption, Crothers residents were seen at press time fleeing from the vicinity of the dorm following yet another raucous gathering.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Correction: author is Ben Lees.

Contact Ben at humor 'at'

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