Introducing “Startr” – a startup for people who want to join a startup

Humor by Rebecca Jia
May 6, 2022, 12:44 a.m.

Have you ever wanted to try your hand at joining a startup? Or even beginning your own? Where do you even start? With spring quarter at Stanford in full force, now is the perfect time!

Through our state-of-the-art user research, we’ve discovered that countless capable and brilliant Stanford students have no idea how their acquaintances began starting a startup. That’s where Startr comes in – the only B2C backend client-facing disruptive technology lean startup developed on top of the metaverse framework in an artificially intelligent accelerator, providing a value-added decentralized and scalable way of developing a core competency to start a startup on the blockchain ecosystem with VC-backed funding.

How does Startr work, you may ask? Well, we can’t tell you that, but we can tell you that with our patented disruptive technological process, we’re able to guarantee with 65% probability that you will maybe eventually figure out how to start your own startup. And what’s more, our innovative front-end consumer-driven state-of-the-art UX machine learning design makes it easy to use your crypto wallet to intuitively synergize big data as an agile funnel to purchase NFT shares in various untapped markets in a centralized manner to eliminate customer pain points and jumpstart starting your startup.

But don’t take our word for it – business experts rave about our product:

“It’s the next big thing. It’s going to be a Unicorn” – Elon Musk (probably). 

“If I was back in college, I would use Startr, no question” – Jeff Bezos’ deepfake. 

So what are you waiting for? Check out Startr now so you can finally tell your entrepreneur friends that you’re also starting your very own startup.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

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