Hi, Mom — it’s me. I know, I know, I didn’t call you on Mother’s Day this year. But hear me out. I was thinking about calling you in the morning, but then I got too distracted thinking about how much you mean to me. You raised me, and you’re always there for me when I need you. It’s not my fault that I got lost in thought just thinking about how great you are.

As for the rest of the day, I was doing a lot of stuff. What kind of stuff, you ask? Don’t worry about it — I wouldn’t want to bore you with all the really important stuff I needed to do. But you can rest assured that I definitely didn’t have just five minutes to spare to call you.

What I will tell you, though, is that I was really busy cleaning my room and making my bed. You always taught me to do it thoroughly, so really, it’s on you that I didn’t call you on Mother’s Day.

Then, I was sobbing over old photo albums of us together that I found when I was cleaning my room, and I didn’t want you to see me like that.

Plus, if I had called you, I wouldn’t have had any material to write for this article, and you wouldn’t have wanted that, right?

So, thanks for understanding, Mom. You’re the best, and I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.