When I finished watching “Multiverse of Madness,” I was very confused about what it wanted me to take away. Was it a commentary on the COVID-19 pandemic? A commentary on political polarization? Or was it a commentary on half-delirious journalists hastily connecting the film to broader social events? But after some careful analysis, I’ve realized that “Multiverse of Madness” is a clear allegory to the time I smoked weed before watching “Doctor Strange” back in 2016. For any Marvel fans who somehow haven’t seen “Multiverse of Madness” yet, expect to meditate thoughtfully with director Sam Raimi on the time I smoked weed before watching “Doctor Strange,” as well as the dangers of doing it again before watching “Multiverse of Madness.”
When I arrived at the theater, I was about an hour late for the movie, and about three weeks late for when my “Multiverse of Madness” review was supposed to be published. This was clearly a metaphor of the time in 2016 when I was supposed to review “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip” for Nickelodeon.com but accidentally downed a shit ton of edibles and entered the “Doctor Strange” theater instead. “Multiverse of Madness” has a sadistic pleasure in confusing its viewers. This helps suspend their disbelief that they were as confused as me in 2016, who didn’t realize that I wasn’t watching a bunch of CGI chipmunks until the end credits. Bravo Sam Raimi!
In times of unprecedented changes, “Multiverse of Madness” allows viewers to relive the good old days when they didn’t have to worry about losing their job at Nickelodeon for “reckless cannabis use” and “child endangerment.” But it also warns viewers not to view the past with such uncritical nostalgia. Whoever designed the theater for “Multiverse of Madness” perfectly recreated the kid who would not stop playing “Subway Surfers” at full volume while I was trying to watch “Doctor Strange.” But “Multiverse of Madness” takes some artistic risks: instead of the kid playing “Subway Surfers” throughout the whole movie, it was me.
However, some fans may accuse “Multiverse of Madness” of pandering. Early in the second act, if a viewer briefly pauses their “Subway Surfers” game to pay attention to the movie, they will hear Benedict Cumberbatch say something about dreams. Cumberbatch is clearly trying to pander to the viewer’s daily dreams of Cumberbatch throughout high school: imagining his PG-13 body against theirs, promising to give the viewer whatever fanservice they desire. Needless to say, this is one of the worst performances by Cumberbatch, and a blatant attempt to pander to the demographic of lonely high schoolers who would hide in the bathroom every lunch period to watch “Sherlock. How do you do, fellow kids?
But only my interpretation of “Multiverse of Madness” is valid, and anyone who disagrees is lying to me. For this reason I have to give “Multiverse of Madness” five Spongebobs out of five, which is the exact score I gave for “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip” before my wife left me. See my other reviews for “Spider-Man: No Way Home” and “Hawkeye,” where I complain anytime an MCU movie does not perfectly recreate the time I watched “Doctor Strange” in 2016, which was honestly the last time I actually enjoyed a Marvel movie.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.