Stanford Alum Rishi Sunak remembered as literal class clown

Humor by Lawrence Chen
Nov. 6, 2022, 11:54 p.m.

When news broke out that Rishi Sunak was chosen as prime minister, the world collectively held its breath and thought, “Who is this guy?”

To get an understanding of who the mysterious prime minister may be, reporters at The Stanford Daily reached out to members of the Stanford community for comment.

“Oh he was the class clown,” replied Elliot Suntar, the person who sat next to Sunak at graduation. “Literally. He wore a clown costume to graduation. When we asked him to take it off for the photos, he wouldn’t. He gave off an evil-clown vibe the entire time and now I have a clown poking out the background of all my graduation photos. I’m actually not sure if he’s the clown, or the clown was him, or they’re just the same person.”

We interviewed the professor who taught two of his classes, Introduction to Becoming Prime Minister and World Domination.

“Given his attire, you would think that Sunak didn’t take his studies that seriously,” said Professor Daniel Mitz. “But, for the final paper, he turned in a detailed thirty-step plan on how he’d go from Stanford student to prime minister of England to overlord of the entire world. I thought this student was way too power-hungry at the time. But hey, he’s proven me wrong so far.”

When requested to provide said plan, Professor Mitz refused, citing “definitely not going to try it myself” as the chief reason.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

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