In light of Prince Harry’s release of his new tell-all memoir, “Spare,” which alleges that Prince William physically assaulted him during a heated argument and caused him to fall on and break a dog bowl, Prince William has announced the upcoming release of his own memoir, “It’s Not What It Looks Like.” 

In an exclusive preview interview with the Daily Mail, Prince William recounts how, in the heated argument with Prince Harry, Prince Harry violently punched his face into Prince William’s knuckles. 

“There’s always two sides to every story. I wish people would take a step back and pause before believing everything they hear from the media. People should always try to find out all the facts first,” says the heir to the British throne. 

“I was completely taken aback. We were having an argument, and I was trying to be civil, but the next thing I know, Harry lunged at me and slammed his face into my clenched fist with so much force that I almost lost my balance and had to take one step forward to steady myself. Harry was so forceful that he fell backwards onto a dog bowl and broke it.” 

We reached out to the dog bowl for comment. “I’m still trying to recover from the incident, but I don’t know if I ever will. What happened has shattered me to pieces. Literally.” 

Prince Harry did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.