Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Matters that come before the world stage frequently put “truth” in an interesting position. The relationship between world affairs and how things are or are not ‘true’ is the subject of a newly announced Program in Writing and Rhetoric (PWR) class: “PWR 103: Machiavellian Rhetoric on the World Stage.”
“Stanford students are oftentimes the people in the room when big international policy decisions are made,” said PWR lecturer John Kirby, who will lead PWR 103 instruction in the upcoming academic year. “They’re in a position to change so much, so I hope PWR 103 can be the class that gives them the tools to change truth itself.”
PWR 103 (the first class of its kind with a syllabus that reads “Students with a heart for the Global South need not apply”) will read case studies on what was determined (or widely accepted) to be “true” on the world stage regarding matters ranging from weapons of mass destruction (WMD) to baby incubators and beyond.
“I’ve been itching for a way to get the State Department to finally slide into my DMs on LinkedIn,” said Matthew Miller ’28, who said the class stood out to him “as a means to become someone who matters in the foreign affairs space on campus.”
Satisfying the Ethical Reasoning (ER) Ways of Thinking/Ways of Doing requirement, Ways General Secretary Jay Hamilton wrote that PWR 103 “involves an inordinate amount of critical thinking for students to justify their leaps in ethical arguments to both their instructors and their conscience.”
Student activists have criticized “the moral ambiguities involved within Machiavellian rhetorical techniques being employed for nothing more than self-interest” and the “expectation that students show up to class having fully read the readings and completed all 15-pages of their working RBA drafts on time.” In response, PWR Program head Vedant Patel commented that with social media finally forgoing fact-checking, society has finally become a post-truth world.
“With the job market becoming more competitive, it is more important than ever that students are able to use any ‘alternative facts’ at their disposal to concisely, but precisely, shape the world as they see fit. Stanford prides itself on making students immediately useful and productive for society. Therefore, can students have any greater skill than making society useful and productive for them?” he said, cutting the line at Coupa Cafe.
Meanwhile Kirby, who has advised ambassadors for multiple nations, said that “Journalists might care about what the on-the-ground situation is abroad. But what I want PWR 103 students to care about is success in what I call ‘the real world,’ since all they need to do is manufacture political support by making up whatever the f— they want.”
The Hoover Institution has declined to comment.