Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Humor has byproducts. You might notice, wedged between some SEO-demolising headlines and those authorial bylines that signal insult to injury for my digital footprint, the occasional image. For every article we publish, a team of Banksies, Botticellis and Bob Ross wannabes are behind the scenes crafting the pretty picture that pairs with whatever hogwash spills out of the humor writers’ room. It’s not Google Gemini and it’s not the Picture Fairy, though some of the writers seem to think it is.
Well, sometimes our Picture Fairies take too much pixie dust and get trigger-happy on Photoshop. That’s a joke; our Managing Editor is too stingy to buy Photoshop. We use free Canva and occasionally PowerPoint to remove the backgrounds on photos from the Internet. Anyway, we have some graphics and cartoons we never got to match articles with over the past volumes, but that we believe you still deserve to see. So, without further ado, enjoy everything we found Not Suitable For Words.
Graphic: Pope Terra, now Pope… whatever they call it now
His Holiness is delighted to find a community that also dresses exquisitely, lives communally and is mostly celibate, though involuntarily. You can tell this photo is from the past because who even remembers Terra anymore?
Cartoon: Centsorship
Before it was shut down, penny printing cost nearly $4 per penny, the only bad investment to which the federal government openly admitted.
Graphic: Class I Skipped Because I Was Not of Sound Mind And Body
Dear frosh, happy first week of college and welcome to the Farm, where you wonder if you really did end up at the wrong zoo.
Cartoon: Treason for the Season
Each November, the President is to pardon just one turkey. In 2025, he kept going.
Graphic: clarencethomas_67_final_v6_DONE
When a group of frosh were asked whether Stanford should work with Clarence Thomas, 30 percent said 6, 35 percent said 7 and the rest asked whether he’d cover their summer housing.
Van Goghs of the world, lend me your ears:
If you want to draw cartoons, design ads for fictional products, or submit art that complements world-class satire, join us on Sundays at 11am at the Daily House. Complete the linked form to express your interest, and we’ll be excited to meet you in a few days!
The Stanford Daily Humor Section does not discriminate on the basis of age or other protected characteristics. If you want to submit woodcuts, ironic Vietnam War helmet graffiti or envelopes stuffed with anthrax, send us a telegram.