Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, it’s a good idea to take a break and reflect on the past year with gratitude this week. However, this moment of rest can become a bit cloudy when people bring up topics with opposing viewpoints. Instead, consider bringing up shared experiences and future plans, but refrain from mentioning the following.

1. The election

Whomever you voted for, or whoever they voted for, should not be mentioned at the dinner table. In previous years, this may have ended with peas flying from across the room. To keep things in order, it’s best to tread around this topic carefully. However, if someone brings it up, consider how to approach the discussion thoughtfully. You should ask yourself: Is this conversation constructive or destructive? Or if you can’t take it at all, it’s best to take a really long bathroom break.

2. Relationships

Whether it’s your aunt Kelly or your uncle Bob, you never want to bring up divorce or anything of that nature. And as for yourself, you don’t want to mention your love life unless you want to get berated with questions from relatives that you don’t remember but claim they held you when you were a baby. It can turn things quite messy and dampen the festive mood.

3. Family gossip

If you hear something about someone and don’t know if it’s true, do not bring it up at the Thanksgiving table. I know it can be hard to keep secrets from slipping out, but this always ends with someone getting upset or spoiling the vibe. Maybe after dinner, you can talk with that one cousin of yours, but do not bring it up in front of everyone.

4. The food

Whether the turkey is dry or the gravy is runny, sometimes it’s better to shut up and eat the stuffing, especially if you were invited to that Thanksgiving feast. Whoever made the food or ordered it will feel bad, and that’s just not a good look. It’s good to remember that Thanksgiving is not just about the food, but the time and effort spent preparing it.

5. The money

Money and family never mix. It’s like trying to mix oil and vinegar; it’s never going to happen. It could easily sound like you are bragging, even though someone may ask you to bring it up. Whether it’s Uncle Dave asking how much you’re making now or Aunt Carol subtly hinting about her “business opportunity,” it’s a trap. It’s better to diffuse the question or establish boundaries. 

Whether or not you will have a Thanksgiving meal this holiday season, it’s an excellent reminder to look at what we have in our lives and what we should be thankful for. Thanksgiving shouldn’t be a dinner with people you don’t like or be forced to coexist with but where we look at ourselves and the world around us. During this break, I invite everyone to take a moment to reminisce about this past year and find ways to create an ideal ending.