Editor’s Note: This article is a review and includes subjective thoughts, opinions and critiques.
Big Game season is a time of overconsumption. Hats, sweatshirts, socks and even tumblers — apparently, the number of logos emblazoning your body and possessions directly correlate to your level of school spirit. And when it comes to Stanford vs. Cal, everything is a competition. So between these bitter rivals, which school offers the most enticing merch?
Design
One of the classic indicators of merch quality is design. After all, who wants to show up to a tailgate in an ugly top? Both Stanford and Cal’s “vintage” sections are distinguished by slightly faded graphics that, contrary to their ‘80s aspirations, evoke elements of millennial fashion. Stanford is notably more sterile, while Cal features some charming hand-drawn portraits of Oski the Bear in various outfits:
Scrolling through each university’s website, there is a sense of déjà vu. The same hoodie, for instance, is present in both Stanford and Cal’s collections. Bedecked in white studs, it seems more at place in a Hot Topic than a college merch store. There are more doppelgängers: a t-shirt scribbled with chalkboard font, a gray henley top with a tiny logo, a cardigan so oversized it looks like a bathrobe.
Even the websites are recolored carbon copies, down to the font. (Stanford and Cal have the same merch provider, Fanatics, as do a large portion of NCAA colleges.)
In the face of this overwhelming similarity, Cal’s bear motif provides a whimsy and dynamism that is absent in Stanford merch. So, until cartoon trees claim their place on Stanford sweatshirts, the point for this round goes to Cal.
Variety
The Stanford store is its own little world. Its wall art section is particularly vibrant, offering a glimpse into the home life of extreme Stanford fans. There is an “In This House” sign made by a graphic designer who had too much fun with Microsoft Word, a grungy guitar sign for a child’s room (presumably to pressure them into applying to Stanford) and a Halloween-themed pumpkin leaner that promotes school spirit and festivity at the same time. Cal’s wall art pales in comparison — it is mostly composed of pictures of the Golden Bears.
After browsing the Stanford website, it becomes clear that anything can be Stanford-themed, from a barbeque set to a crystal whisky decanter. Cal sticks to more traditional fare, like iPhone cases and mugs. The Stanford store beats Cal by a landslide in variety; it is essentially a Home Depot in red and white.
Cost-effectiveness
Unfortunately, some items offered by the schools do not fit within a typical student budget. Stanford’s most expensive piece of merchandise is a gaming chair that sells for $509.99 ($407.99 with a code). Meanwhile, Berkeley offers a recliner with two cupholders for the eye-watering price of $959.99 ($719.99 with a code).
The cheapest product on both sites is a 10-dollar flagpole. Due to inflation and college merch markups in general, it is hard to find anything under ten dollars’ worth buying.
The prices for most items are comparable. However, Stanford’s website has 903 items for sale, while Cal only has 760. Taking into account Stanford’s bountiful sales and highest price point of around $500, Stanford wins this round.
Versatility
Stanford is well-known for its connections, and a benefit of a Stanford education is its desirability in the workplace. Even in the Stanford store, the networking never stops. For students who want to catch the eye of a rich CEO at a golf course, Stanford offers 90 variations of a polo shirt, 14 of which are women’s. Berkeley only has 80 polo shirts, with a meager four women’s polos.
After Big Game, the students that return home for Thanksgiving break face a dilemma: how much flexing is too much? When meeting hometown friends, a giant Stanford logo can come off as arrogant. Cases like these call for something more discreet, like a cropped form-fitting tee where the school’s name is a slightly brighter shade of white than the rest of the fabric. Unfortunately, Cal has no equivalent, so Stanford wins on versatility.
Despite Cal’s creativity when it comes to graphic design, its merch came second to Stanford’s offerings in the three other metrics. Some may say this disparity mirrors the real-life positions of the two colleges, but only Big Game can settle the dispute once and for all. Stanford was the clear winner in the war of wears; let’s hope that its football team is as superior as its merch.