Overheard on the stadium bleachers:

Student 1: “Whoa. How did you get here?”

Student 2: “I walked.”

Student 1, very confused: “But… how did you get past the gate?”

Student 2: “I said I was a student and they waved me in.”

He shows his ticket stub.

Student 1: “How’d you get that ticket?!?”

Student 2: “VIP.”

A boy’s first attempt at flirting:

Boy: “I don’t do drugs!”

Uninterested girl, while texting: “No way.”

Boy: “I’m a Korean, I don’t do drugs.”

—–

Girl 1: “Where’s the bookstore?”

Girl 2, pointing toward Tresidder Express: “That had books in it.”

The two walk in.

—–

A monk enjoys a Subway footlong while completing a sudoku outside Fraiche, 2:20 p.m.

—–

Two girls stand perplexed before the dining hall tray return:

Girl 1: “So, there’s compost and landfill…”

Girl 2: “Where does, like, trash go?”

Girl 3 walks up, dumps her plate and silverware into landfill bin and walks away.

A certain Russian President visits Twitter’s offices before speaking on campus:

@KremlinRussia_E “Hello everyone! I’m on Twitter, and this is my first tweet.”

A couple rides out of the Bike Shop after renting bikes:

Woman, as she crashes into a two-foot-high stone wall outside Tresidder: “These are hand brakes. I’m not used to that.”

Man: “That was your hands.”

Resident tries the indirect approach in an e-mail to his RA:

Boy: “What happens if we have the pleasure of throwing up on campus, specifically in our dorm room? Is there a procedure to remove the specimen from the carpet?”