Roxy Sass looks for elusive e-love

Nov. 5, 2010, 12:40 a.m.

Roxy Sass looks for elusive e-loveThe World Wide Web is a tool – not Roxy’s favorite kind of tool, but a close second. And more importantly, it’s a very useful one for flirting. While some traditionalists may moan and groan about the tech-led death of interpersonal relationships, Roxy would rather moan and groan in the company of other sexy people, no matter how she meets them.

The ends justify the means, Roxy argues: as long as it leads to a fully in-person physical “rendezvous,” she’s all in favor for using e-methods to flirt. Roxy gives these methods (and you, hopefully) a rundown:


Brevity is the soul of wit, and concision is the soul of sexy. Why say more when saying less implies both mysterious seduction and strong grammar skills? Roxy doesn’t need a novel of your day when she booty-texts you. Just a “Yes, ma’am<\p>–<\p>and I’ll bring the cuffs” will more than suffice. And as for sexting: it’s just more fun to say dirty talk out loud. There’s no good way, as of yet, to convey “sexy voice” via text, although Roxy is optimistic about the future of technology.


Roxy is overwhelmed by the flirtations options: a subtle, old-school poke in the hopes it’ll turn into a real poking session? The post-drunk makeout friend request? Tagging your new crush as a sexy object in a photo? Maybe just a simple “like”? In all situations, though, Roxy knows best to keep her provocative exchanges to private messages, not walls. No one wants to see you bragging about your new lover, and more importantly, broadcasting to the world that you’re anything less than a free agent just closes off other opportunities.

Whew. Roxy still gets a little flushed when she recalls the heated e-flirts she shared with “Boysenberry” the other night. At Coupa: Male, Brunette. Tall, handsome, looks like you’d know how to tell a good joke. Roxy sees you reading her column. If you’re willing to keep her identity a secret, she’ll show you more than just a little to like.


Twitter? Roxy barely knows her! But she’s thinking that might make it even more thrilling. Would you like to meet @roxysplace? On a somewhat related note, Roxy has always bemoaned the fact that the past tense of “to tweet” somehow became “tweeted” and not “twat.”

Roxy’s new pickup line is telling people she voted them as “Definitely!” The site, sadly, is highly ineffective for sending a flirty sentiment to someone in particular, but Roxy’s all for raising incentives for sexier profile pictures. Who needs a picture of you and your eight hallmate bffls? Bikini pic or it didn’t happen.

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