The next time I open Twitter, I want to see my timeline stop bonking me, telling me to go to horny jail and see more (not less) horny tweets.

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Roxy gives us the scoop on what's to love about one of the Row's greatest perks: Special D.

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Roxy Sass gives us the scoop on what she considers the best part about studying abroad.

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Whether you’re in a freshmen dorm or a Row house, chances are there are some cuties living nearby that you wouldn’t mind getting to know a little better… all in the name of dorm bonding, of course.

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She might be a bit too mature to sit on Santa’s lap, but Roxy’s still got a few things she’d like to ask for this holiday season.

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'Tis the season to give thanks, and Roxy’s always been a fan of vocalizing her appreciation. She might not be able to share these around the family dinner table, but here are a few things Roxy is thankful for this year.

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Though Roxy’s preferred football position has always been wide receiver, she knows how to appreciate a tight end.

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Roxy’s never really been one for graduating (who would want to leave this college paradise of palm trees, hot TAs and dance floor makeouts?), but she knows some of you will be moving on come end of spring quarter – and she wants to make sure, in the search for that perfect job, you maximize your action as well as your assets.

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October is one of Roxy’s favorite months, and not just because of the naughty costume she has planned for Halloween. It’s also Nobel Prize announcement season — and you know there are few things Roxy appreciates more than a bunch of tall, blonde Scandinavians with hearts (and pockets full) of gold. This year, as you may have heard, one of Stanford’s own professors won the prize in chemistry. Well, Roxy would like to take this opportunity to give out some prizes of her own...and reward a different kind of chemistry.

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We all know that studying is not Roxy’s main activity on campus, but this is one cheat sheet she is happy to spend some time working on. Voila, Roxy Sass’ FMOTQ bingo board!

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In the wake of the recent Stanford computer hack and ever-increasing numbers of late-night SU Alert texts, it seems everyone is talking about safety, and Roxy is no exception. She’s got some tips for staying safe where it really matters…in the bedroom.

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These days, everyone seems to be talking about the fate of the arts on campus, but Roxy has always been more concerned about the art of the male form. You might say Roxy’s an equal-opportunity kind of gal – her taste runs the gamut from frat star to band geek – but recently she’s been finding herself particularly inspired by a more sensitive type of man. You know what they say about artists being good with their hands…

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The Daily's resident sex columnist welcomes freshmen to the Farm.

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Roxy’s been writing about the ins and outs of the Stanford hookup scene since the UPenn Class of 2015 was falling for the “pen 15 club” trick. Listen up, NYT, because Roxy’s been doing this for a while

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Like any other Stanfordian, Roxy has a million things to do in a day, not to mention people. Being a campus-wide sexual icon takes up more time than you'd think, and some weeks Roxy is so exhausted that she can't find the time to pick over and pick up new boy toys (the figurative ones -- Roxy always has time for toys…). Recently, Roxy has embarked on a new adventure to help with this conundrum: online dating.

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Stanford is deep inside Silicon Valley, and Roxy (who generally prefers it when people are deep inside her) has learned a thing or two about technology during her time here, other than that teledildonics lecture in the virtual people class. Technology (when used properly) can be a great tool – not just for changing the world, but equally importantly, for getting people laid. In the spirit of information sharing and open communication, Roxy’s prepared some tips for using 21st-century tools to, ahem, get your silicon into her valley.

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School may be out for our friends at semester schools, but here at Stanford we’re still working, playing and getting hard. Roxy’s midterm schedule may be unrelenting, but so is her desire to party. And fortunately, this coming weekend offers plenty of opportunity -- here’s how to get the most out of (and get the most action during) the next few days.

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Although Roxy is hardly a traditional girl, there’s one Stanford tradition with a special place in her heart - or, more accurately, her libido. Exotic Erotic, the legendary event hosted by 680 Lomita, encourages girls to wear two articles of clothing and guys to wear just one. Featuring a patriotic theme this year, Exotic’s got Roxy excited to raise some flagpoles. And in the spirit of pursuing happiness, Roxy’s got some tips to keep your night erotic without the “ick.”

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Though Roxy is game to play in the bedroom, one game Roxy doesn’t play is Hard-to-Get (she plays Get-to-Hard!). So, over the years, Roxy has learned some of the most and least effective ways to send the occasional unwanted suitors packing.

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Fraternity rush is upon us, and while she would rather be upon fraternity members, Roxy has decided to embrace the spirit of rush and share some of the insights she’s gleaned over the years about each of the frats.

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It’s spring quarter at Stanford, and as the temperature goes up, things are bound to get hot and heavy. Though spring quarter has the fewest days, Roxy’s always been able to get the most action in the final third of each year.

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Roxy’s appreciation for passion extends outside the bedroom—and onto the campaign trail. While Roxy’s best Tuesdays usually involve shirtless men and a respectable amount of wine, this past Tuesday was surprisingly “super” for a day filled with neither alcohol nor men Roxy wanted to see naked.

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Last week, Roxy divulged some of her best places to meet potential hook-ups (Roxy has never been very good at keeping secrets). Ever a woman of extremes, this week, Roxy’s decided to share the worst places to meet people on campus.

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To put it bluntly, Stanford is big, a characteristic Roxy usually appreciates (both in academic institutions and in men). When it comes to finding new hookups, there are plenty of options, but, like the female orgasm, they can be elusive (or so Roxy hears…she has little trouble with either). Fortunately for you, Roxy has developed a finely honed list of the best locations to meet your next mate.

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