Roxy Sass: Dangers of Dormcest

Jan. 10, 2014, 12:09 a.m.

Football season may be over, but Roxy’s found a new sport of choice, and this one’s a little closer to home: dormcest. Whether you’re in a freshmen dorm or a Row house, chances are there are some cuties living nearby that you wouldn’t mind getting to know a little better… all in the name of dorm bonding, of course. But just like any nerdy Stanford student, Roxy thinks it’s probably a good idea to do some cost-benefit analysis before making “dorm love” too literal.

PROS: Convenience, convenience, convenience. Sex might be the only thing that could motivate Roxy to travel to the far corners of campus (class certainly can’t), but it’s always easier when the object of your affection lives just down the hall. Cozy up to your neighbor, and you could be saying goodbye to long walks of shame for the rest of the quarter. It’ll only be so long before everyone in the dorm knows, of course, but it can be fun to see how long you can keep your sneaky activities on the DL… nothing spices up a hookup quite like trying to hide it from 48 of your close buddies.

CONS: All of the awkwardness. If things in this kind of relationship go south (and not in a sexy way), it can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations. It’s never fun to eat lunch across the table from the guy or girl who just broke your heart… or to hear them hooking up with someone else through thin dorm walls. And even if it’s all going peachy, it can still be annoying to know you constantly are the favorite topic of the dorm gossip mill. Much to Roxy’s chagrin, it’s also not a great idea to hook up with multiple people from your house – not tryna have them compare stats, ya feel me?

The dangers of dormcest may be many, but to be honest, they haven’t stopped Roxy, and they shouldn’t stop you. This may be the only time in your life you will be surrounded by such convenient and abundant opportunities to get some… and not even have to leave your house to do it. If you are prepared to keep it subtle and brave the possible awkward aftermath, then by all means open your door (and your legs) for that hottie down the hall.


Not satisfied with any of your fellow dormmates? Email Roxy at [email protected] – she might be willing to reassign for a night. 

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