Fraternity rush is upon us, and while she would rather be upon fraternity members, Roxy has decided to embrace the spirit of rush and share some of the insights she’s gleaned over the years about each of the frats.

Kappa Sig

A fraternity known for its debauchery, Kappa Sig always goes hard—an adjective Roxy considers the highest praise. And while homeless isn’t usually Roxy’s type, she’s found that on weekend nights, Kappa Sigs are prepared to go to great lengths to find places to sleep closer than Suites. Maybe it’s just her philanthropic streak, but Roxy’s always happy to share her bed.

Sigma Nu

Sigma Nu throws the biggest parties, but Roxy’s starting to think they’re compensating for—ahem—something. And even more importantly, Roxy likes boys who are more into her than each other. Of course, if they open their kitchen, Roxy’s occasionally been known to open her legs.

Sigma Chi

Roxy thought she was done hooking up in bunk beds after freshman year, but in the frattiest of Stanford fraternities, virtually everyone lives in one-room doubles. After enough watered-down shots in the penthouse, Roxy is sometimes willing to relive her Wilbur days.

Theta Delt

Maybe it’s just secondhand smoke, but Roxy has a hard time keeping a clear head around the boys in Theta Delt. They may be the most “chill,” but Roxy knows a few ways to get them excited.

KA

Roxy likes the chase, but usually the chase doesn’t lead her over Scary Path and through fields. That being said, Roxy is willing to go the distance for a house so full of athletes—great bods and plenty of stamina? Sign Roxy up. And when the athletes are hitting the bed early for 6 a.m. lift, Roxy will be sure to be there to tuck them in. Either that or to down some EANABS—Equally Attractive Non-Athletic Brothers.

Roxy isn’t rushing, but she’s always down for a quickie. Schedule a rendezvous at [email protected].