In the last few months you may have heard Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass,” a catchy pop song with the message that larger women should revel in their curves and be proud of their size. When I first heard it, I was excited that body diversity was receiving so much attention, but I was also quickly disappointed by the ways that the song missed the mark on body positivity.

So, let’s talk about body positivity.

Body positivity is about accepting your body as it is and learning to love your unique being. It is the declaration that bodies are perfect as they are, individually, and need not be measured up against anyone else’s standard, anyone else’s judgment or anyone else’s body. Trainor’s refrain, “All of you is perfect from the bottom to the top” is actually a good representation of body positivity – the problem is the rest of her message. Her song reflects two traps that we often get stuck in when it comes to body positivity: First, deriving self-worth from others’ opinions, and second, assuming that some body types are better than others.

It’s not a secret that our culture is obsessed with desirability – open almost any magazine and someone will be selling you a way to be more attractive. Unfortunately, this message has permeated our rhetoric about self-love. The chorus of “All About That Bass” says “Yeah, my mama, she told me don’t worry about your size / She says, ‘Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.’” This statement implies that the singer’s self-assurance is only valid because her shape is appealing to someone else.

It’s also problematic when self-love becomes a tool – a means to an end. Perhaps the best example to show this phenomenon comes from a Huffington Post article “Love Yourself, Love Your Body” written by former Emory professor Janet Blair Page. In this article, which is supposed to promote women’s self-care, Page explains that men “hate it if you start pointing out your perceived body faults because it mars [their] vision of you.” The problem with this model is that self-confidence is just a tactic to become more appealing to men. Desirability has been confused with the real goal of self-love and body positivity: personal happiness and fulfillment.

Page’s tips on how to build this self-confidence read somewhat like a weight-loss guide, conforming to what she calls the “model ideal” of “tall and thin.” Trainor, on the other hand, has been praised for promoting a different standard of beauty, singing proudly that she “ain’t no size two,” but she has “all the right junk in all the right places.” This is our other trap: While it is refreshing to see body diversity, it’s still problematic to call people “skinny bitches” and “stick figure silicone Barbie doll[s].” Promoting a different standard of beauty still favors some bodies over other bodies. Body positivity is inclusive – it means accepting that there are no wrong places to have, or not have, junk. Trainor’s song is the musical equivalent of saying “Real women have curves.”

Some women have curves, some do not, some are tall, some are short, but all are real women.

With all that being said, body positivity is also about forgiveness and giving ourselves another chance. Self-love and self-care are both cultivated – they take practice and work, and we don’t always get them exactly right. I do not want to demonize Trainor, who undoubtedly had good intentions in writing this song. I do want to learn from this situation, though.

Let’s learn that your self-love does not have to serve anyone but you, and that self-care is a path to fulfilling yourself, not others. Being body positive means that no matter what form your body and others’ bodies have, you work to appreciate and love them. Body positivity is a way for people – all people – to take their lives back from eating disorders, to live their lives fully without fear and to escape from the pressures of other people’s judgment.

Let’s get out of these traps and start loving ourselves for who we are and for our own sakes.

Emma Neiman ’16

Contact Emma Neiman at [email protected] or Kristen Lohse at [email protected] to learn more about the body positive movement on campus.