Satire by Richard Coca
Two weeks after emailing students to crowdsource suggestions for the moving process, Vice Provost for Student Affairs Susie Brubaker-Cole launched her official YouTube channel, “Susie in College,” to keep students up to date on the University’s decisions and more importantly, her life.
“I understand many of you are missing Stanford’s campus right now,” said Brubaker-Cole in her inaugural video. “So, if you’re interested in keeping up to date on all the hottest goss[ip] and keeping your eye on the campus, make sure to like and click that subscribe button.”
While some students were confused at first, they have found the platform somewhat constructive.
“When I first got the email, I was like … finally, they’re going to let us know when we can pick up our stuff,” said Tarc Messier-Lavigne ’23. “Unfortunately, the video discussed nothing of the sort. But when Susie promised us gossip that not even the FoHo could get their hands on, I knew she was going to blow up big time.”
Rumors circulated for a while that Susie Brubaker-Cole’s video was a part of a CS 278 assignment to go viral.
“Well, it worked,” said professor Michael Bernstein, who teaches the course. “I think getting over 7,000 subscribers in an hour qualifies for a Satisfactory for the whole quarter.”
Stanford researchers attribute the channel’s success to Riva, Brubaker-Cole’s dog.
“Riva instantly won my heart over,” commented one user. Fans of Brubaker-Cole’s channel — or Susie Stans, as they like to call themselves — melted when Riva brought her tennis ball to Brubaker-Cole in a plea to run.
“She has a lot of energy,” Brubaker-Cole said. “And so do I. That’s why I want to hear from you, dear student. My hope is to create engaging videos for the entire Stanford community so make sure to like and subscribe for more content like this.”
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Richard Coca at richcoca ‘at’ stanford.edu.