Mike Lee, UT, Committee Chairman
Tom Cotton, AR
Rob Portman, OH
Bill Cassidy, LA
Ted Cruz, TX
Kelly Loefller, GA
Martin Heinrich, NM
Amy Klobuchar, MN
Gary Peters
Margaret Wood Hassan, NH
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Jenna Ruzekowicz at jrezekow ‘at’ stanford.edu and Om Jahagirdar at ojahagir ‘at’ stanford.edu.