Humor by Simran Tandon
Libra — Think about how you can be more like Jamie Lee Curtis in “Beverly Hills Chihuahua.”
Scorpio — Embrace your inner crow and search for shiny wrappers on the street.
Taurus — Does wearing that leather jacket give you the validation your parents never did? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Capricorn — Repetition is the lowest form of wit.
Sagittarius — Try littering this week.
Aquarius — Deep-rooted insecurity is your friend, or maybe they’re just saying that to use your toaster oven.
Pisces — Why?
Gemini — Treat yourself. Get an exorcism.
Leo — Rejection is God’s way of telling you he doesn’t care.
Virgo — Repetition is the lowest form of wit.
Aries — Cleanse your soul by listening to the Wiggles tonight.
Cancer — Forget it.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.