Simran Tandon
Astrology Corner
HUMOR: Seeing a bear this week will lead to 7 years of bad luck. Avoid Grindr.
New triathlon challenge involves doing ‘Biden Half-Jog’ as one leg of the race
SATIRE: The first leg of the race is modeled after the walk that Biden took to reach the podium for his acceptance speech: half-jog, half-walk and all awkward.
Seasonal depression: Your regular depression, now in pumpkin spice
Are you tired of normal depression? Is your regular sadness and melancholy getting you down? Does life seem even grayer and duller than usual? Are you looking for ways to spice up your aimless existence?
In effort to reach more students, CAPS renames itself Stanford Missed Connections
SATIRE: The Occasionally recommends that students be wary about which Stanford Missed Connections they are sharing their hottest takes and deepest secrets with.
Frosh confident that seventh succulent will finally fill the pit of loneliness growing inside them
SATIRE: Online learning has been scorned for being less engaging, less entertaining and more eye-straining than in-person learning. But for most frosh the worst part of these unprecedented circumstances has been the inability to make friends or find any kind of lasting social connection.
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