Libra — Bee farming is the new bitcoin.
Aries — You are a sponge.
Sagittarius — Humblebragging will soothe the soul.
Pisces — Give up.
Scorpio — You will be the third person to develop an allergy to watercolors.
Taurus — Avoid sponges.
Leo — Follow Ever Given’s lead and try blocking your toxic ex.
Capricorn — Avoid gel electrophoresis.
Gemini — Getting a typewriter IS an appropriate substitute for a personality.
Cancer — Bitcoin is the new bee farming.
Virgo — Love is a competition, and you’re losing.
Aquarius — Hanging polaroids in your room is totally original, don’t worry.